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How do I deal with a negative relationship?

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Re: How do I deal with a negative relationship?

Postby Debb2010 » Fri Aug 17, 2022 7:33 pm

Hi Lizzie (again!) - like you I get on really well with my parents in law, far better than with my own parents. They're (the inlaws) so unintrusive - they don't make demands, they don't sulk when they don't get their own way, they just take us as we are and enjoy hte times we spend together - it's all just easier with them.

Hi Dee, so sorry to hear you have similar problems. I know what you mean about going back time and time again because you still want to have a good relationship with your mother. I tried, many many times, since I was a teenager, to try and talk to her and find out why she always seemed to be so angry with me but she never ever acknowledged that she might be in the wrong and always turned things back on me. I really wanted to 'fix' things, to have a mother I could feel close to, to want to phone her and chat or meet her for lunch, to see her as someone I could turn to, the way some of my friends are with their mothers. Deep down I still yearn for that I know but I also know it will never happen, she's just not capable of it. I'm sure she loves me in her own way but it's a suffocating, critical and judgmental love and I will never live up to what she wants so rather than feel belittled and anxious and stressed about her any longer I pretty much stay away and, sad as that is in a way, it's the right thing for me and I'm a much much happier woman this last year and a half.
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Re: How do I deal with a negative relationship?

Postby Dee78 » Fri Aug 17, 2022 10:31 pm

+1 on the in-laws, we have a great relationship too

Thanks Debb, I need to take a leaf out of your book, our situations sound very similar
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Re: How do I deal with a negative relationship?

Postby Lizzie02 » Mon Aug 20, 2022 7:23 pm

Dee78, thanks for your lovely posts and to all the gals who have read and replied on this thread. It really is making me feel like I am not the 'only one' and some sort of freak. Thanks again x

Just spent another lovely weekend with my in-laws and uplifted me :)
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Re: How do I deal with a negative relationship?

Postby Bernadotte » Wed Sep 19, 2022 4:52 pm

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Last edited by Bernadotte on Mon Oct 01, 2022 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How do I deal with a negative relationship?

Postby Bernadotte » Wed Sep 19, 2022 5:00 pm

Oh and congrats on the pregnancy. That is going to be 1 lucky baby. That's 1 thing you will take from your mother, is the way not to treat your son/daughter. You will have your own little family now, you won't need the strained 1, so much, that you already have :wv
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