Sister engaged first - i want to marry first!

by **tabac** » Thu Nov 03, 2021 8:49 pm

Do you think its okay to get married before my sister?

my sister has been with her partner for 6 years and they have a kid together. 6 weeks ago they got engaged. i was thrilled for them but secretly disappointed as i knew my partner of a few years was planng to pop the question. (it was obvious :xox

)

my partner has since popped the question and i have said yes. we havnt told anyone we are engaged yet and plan to keep it a secret for several months as we dont want to steal their thunder.

my sister hopes to marry mid 2013 and we hope to get hitched mid 2012. we are planning a small intimate event (20 people) , theirs will probably be a big event 100+

Please any advice would be appreciated as we cant ask anyone else!!!

belcra · by **belcra** » Thu Nov 03, 2021 9:32 pm

I think it's. Ok, especially as two very different weddings. I think I would talk to her about it first though to prevent any controversy.

Congrats by the way.

gingerwhinger · by **gingerwhinger** » Thu Nov 03, 2021 9:56 pm

big congrats on the engagement O-O

my sister and i both got engaged within a month of each other, she got engaged first. i didnt feel like i was stealing her thunder announcing my engagement so soon after hers. we both got to celebrate together!
as for the weddings, although she was engaged first she had no plans to get married until 2013, so i then booked my wedding for next summer and she had no problem with that. i agree with Belcra, you should discuss it with her just to make sure that she is waiting until the following year for hers

paperclips · by **paperclips** » Fri Nov 04, 2021 10:55 am

I think it would be fine if you were to marry first. The fact that there would nearly be 12 months between each wedding would be fine. I dont see any issues with it

Congrats on your engagement :o)ll

mrs bmw · by **mrs bmw** » Fri Nov 04, 2021 2:13 pm

I got engaged in 06 and married in Aug 08. My sister got engaged in 06 and married in Aug 07. It was no biggie for me but my parents might say otherwise their savings got a bit of a hammering :o0

GreenerPastures · by **GreenerPastures** » Fri Nov 04, 2021 2:32 pm

I don't see the problem. As long as you leave a few weeks between the big days, if you're having a similar guest list. My sister got engaged and was very relaxed about setting a date. My brother then got engaged and he and his fiance were more pro-active and eventually just said it to her, to get her skates on and set a date. In fairness they needed to know as both were living abroad and needed to know so relatives and friends weren't being asked to travel to two weddings in quick succession. They wanted to give people breathing space between the two.

McLisa · by **McLisa** » Wed Nov 09, 2021 12:22 pm

i say it shouldn't be a problem if you go about it in the right way, we got engaged and set our date for sept in spain and OH sister got engaged after us but was insistent that she wanted more of a guarantee of good weather so didnt want to do it later than sept (its ireland - 4 seasons in a day!) therefore 'had' to do it before us in July. I don't really mind as we're going away so they will be two different weddings, but only thing i cared about was that she didn't come and say to us, its just common courtesy and respect and eliminates any possibility for bad feelings, it just keeps yourself right too, weddings are complicated business!

good luck with it!

LastRolo · by **LastRolo** » Fri Nov 11, 2021 11:58 am

Definitely talk to your sister first before booking anything. She shouldn't mind seeing as your wedding will be small and intimate compared to hers, but run it past her...

teatimebride · by **teatimebride** » Thu Nov 17, 2021 1:23 pm

It would bother some people and it wouldn't bother others, so best to speak to her soon! She will hardly expect you to wait til 2014 to get married so if she is saying she's getting married in 2013, it shouldn't be a problem you getting married in 2012.

My sister got engaged years ago, I think Christmas 2005, but has zero intention of getting married!! We didn't get engaged til Nov 2009 and got married in Aug 2011!

by **tabac** » Mon Nov 28, 2021 2:54 pm

thanks for all the advice...
i spoke to my sister last night and she is over the moon :eek

she does not mind at all if we get married 1st as they are not even sure as to when theirs is gonna be....
she is super excited about us planning the days together

by **NemoFish** » Fri Jan 06, 2022 9:03 pm

I would think that it would be unreasonable of someone who didn't have a date set to be annoyed about someone getting married before them. Or even if they just had a long engagement.

My sis has always said she wouldn't have a short engagement. She will be getting engaged this year probably, and married next (yay!). Her boyf cousin got engaged in 2010, and is marrying in 2014, but would be very put out if her cousin went in front of her. Her problem I think.

It's great that your sister is delighted for you!

sweets78 · by **sweets78** » Fri Jan 06, 2022 9:09 pm

Firstly congratulations :o)ll

I think it would be fine to get married first but like other posts you should talk to your sister first.Imagine all the fun you will have chatting about all the wedding stuff O-O

dumdumdidum2013 · by **dumdumdidum2013** » Thu Mar 15, 2022 7:06 pm

First of all congrats!

2nd it's fine! I am with h2b 4 years got engaged few months ago wedding booked next year. My sis is with h2b 2 and a bit years she's 40 and divorced (separated 7 yrs 1st) their trying for a baby and want to be married 1st she's getting married same as you small intimate wedding we're doing the big traditional wedding.

It's great fun planning together I advised her initally re venues etc now she's filling me in on the legal stuff I haven't got to yet!

let us know what to decide : )

dumdumdidum2013 · by **dumdumdidum2013** » Thu Mar 15, 2022 7:07 pm

First of all congrats!

2nd it's fine! I am with h2b 4 years got engaged few months ago wedding booked next year. My sis is with h2b 2 and a bit years she's 40 and divorced (separated 7 yrs 1st) their trying for a baby and want to be married 1st she's getting married same as you small intimate wedding we're doing the big traditional wedding.

It's great fun planning together I advised her initally re venues etc now she's filling me in on the legal stuff I haven't got to yet!

let us know what to decide : )

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