Totally floored....please help.

by **popsi** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 7:07 am

Today is the worst day of my life. My fiance has impregnated another girl.

My whole world has come crashing down. I've never felt so lonely.

Snuffy · by **Snuffy** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 8:02 am

For you.

Im afraid I don't have any advice at all but i just wanted to reply. The only thing I will say is nothing is for sure without a DNA test.

liz28 · by **liz28** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 9:12 am

Hi Popsi,

I too don't have any advice but wanted to say Hi and to send a hug

I really really hope you have a good support around you that you have someone to lean on.

Thinking of you

by **popsi** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 9:59 am

She told him yesterday. She is five months pregnant. He says it only happened once and meant nothing. I feel like this is all a bad dream. Keep waiting to wake up.

i

excitedlady · by **excitedlady** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 10:58 am

You poor thing...

Hope you are ok

Penny Hill · by **Penny Hill** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 12:16 pm

Popsi

Have you got someone close you can talk to?

babydust2012 · by **babydust2012** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 1:06 pm

Oh popsi I don't know what to say because I'm not sure if it was me would I be able to cope but I really hope you have someone you can confide in & support you & offer you support. Thinking of you

by **popsi** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 1:34 pm

We live so far from my family and friends. I bought a house here for us.I'm so very alone. I have no idea what to do. I can't stop crying.

Mrs Fahrenheit · by **Mrs Fahrenheit** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 1:54 pm

Could you go home to your parents/stay with good friends for a few days Popsi? Just call in sick to work.

Don't worry about all the practicalities of where you live ect.... right now, just remove yourself a couple of days to let it sink in.

by **Tragen** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 2:40 pm

Ah popsi, you poor thing!

Im so angry for you! The consequences of his stupid action, whether it meant anything or not is life altering whether you break up or stay together. While you are busy planning your wedding, he has gotten another girl pregnant!

You must be in a daze! please go home for a few days, you need to get away from him so that you think about what you want. You need support at this awful time.

You need to look after yourself, get yourself home for some love and support.

by **Babybabybaby** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 3:18 pm

OMG you poor thing

I agree with the OP's and think that you should go home and be with your family and close friends for a few days to talk things through. Your head must be bursting with things so you really need to let it out.

I hope things work out for you hun, look after yourself

by **popsi** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 4:35 pm

What do I do? Seriously, in need of some advice. Is there anyone out there who thinks we stand a chance? Our am I a fool to even consider it?

I can't tell my family yet or it will be out of my hands. There is no way they would forgive him.

Mrs Fahrenheit · by **Mrs Fahrenheit** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 4:38 pm

I don't know if it stands a chance. It's difficult when you don't know the people. I believe that people make mistakes and can change and things can move on but I think that could be very difficult when there will be a child - a constant reminder - in your lives.

I can understand why you don't want to tell your family - but could you go home and just say that you've had a row. I just think it's better to get away and access your feelings. He must be in shock himself so it won't help being around him.

Hope your ok.

by **NemoFish** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 4:45 pm

The only way it can ever work is if you can forgive him completely. So that's something only you can answer.

HippyChic · by **HippyChic** » Sat Jan 14, 2022 4:57 pm

What a horrible situation to find yourself in. I know you don't want to tell your family but honestly...if you and your OH work this out and stay together surely they're going to notice that he suddenly has a child around that wasn't around before? At least if you tell them you'll have the support that you're looking for.

As for the question of working this out...it's one only you can answer. What strikes me is that your OH only told you about this because of the pregnancy. Is this because A: it was a genuine mistake that he decided to live with, or B: that he was delighted he got away with it and is hiding more from you? You know him, we don't, so only you know which of these two options are more likely.

If you do stay together I presume that he is going to be involved in this child's life, which means being involved in the child's mother's life, which means you are too. Can you deal with that? Obviously, right now the idea is bound to tear you apart but long-term how could you handle it? Do you want to have children yourself once you get married? Will they be involved in their half-siblings life? I know it's a lot to throw at you at once, especially considering what you're dealing with anyway, but if you want to work things through these are the situations you have to be realistic about. Will your OH go to couples counselling with you so that you can both sort this out?

Ring a family member, ring a friend, reach out to someone. I'd hate to think that anyone I know would go through something like this and feel like they couldn't call on me, I guarantee that the people in your life will feel the same. Look after yourself, take all the time that YOU need to get things straight in your head before you even begin to consider your OH's feelings. I am so, so, so sorry that this has happened to you.

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