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The subject of children

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Re: The subject of children

Postby GizzyWhizzy » Mon Feb 20, 2022 11:54 am

My final post on this.. :) we chatted at length over the weekend and I discussed all the feedback received here, I genuinely thought that it would be a natural progression for us and I neglected to really recognise the doubt was a reality for him. My ideal of 1 or 2 kids was perhaps more in my head and not do much a joint thing..

He has said that he is not against them and has apologised for not being as straight forward as he could have been. He said that it was always so far away that he didn't consider it to be urgent :)

I was really drawn by you Layla :) and your experience. I reiterate my admiration for your honesty and sheer work ethic!! I couldnt see myself being as selfless as you. I also would have no help as family live over 4 hours away and h2b family 1 hour away. I would need h2b to be fully on board before being comfortable.

The upshot of it all is that kids are on hold. We are considering accord for some counselling but we have decided that children or none we do want to be together. I think the realism of children has made me think. I won't say I have changed my mind but I am less stressed!!

Thanks again to all..

:)
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Re: The subject of children

Postby layla14 » Sun Feb 26, 2022 10:05 am

Best of luck Gizzywhizzy with it. you know, he could be the sort of man who finds his maternal side when junior is in his arms!!!
As long as you are real about what lies ahead, you should be fine! I hope it works out for you, truely I do. :lvs
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Re: The subject of children

Postby Arwen20 » Fri Mar 02, 2022 9:14 am

This is definitely something you need to talk out honestly and in full.

I'm female, 29 and have never wanted to have kids. I sat down with my fiance when we were only going out a year and told him straight out that I will never have kids and he said immediately 'Thats great,I like kids but I dont want any of my own' and 7 years later we still have the same view.

I trust him implicitely buuut..............if in any case he ever turned around one day and said that he wants to have a kid it would be a deal breaker for me and if it was at a time when we were married I would be asking for a divorce. It is something that I will not change my mind about or ever want to change my mind and he knows this and agrees so the verbal contract is in place in my view

You really need to get him to honestly tell you why he's not so keen now as it can ruin a relationship
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