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how do you know

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how do you know

Postby 2bmrsc » Tue Feb 21, 2022 11:38 am

Post Deleted*(wish the postman would do the same,lol)
Last edited by 2bmrsc on Thu Feb 23, 2022 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: how do you know

Postby islandlil » Tue Feb 21, 2022 11:51 am

Why don't you ask him straight out? After 10 years you should be able to discuss things with him straight. Sit him down and say that you want to start making arrangements and what stuff does he want to ring and make appointments about, etc. Keep him involved. If he starts trying to wriggle out of things ask him outright (calmly) if he still wants to get married and if he has any worries he should discuss them with you.
You can also make jokes back that the bins better be emptied right etc or else you mightn't want to marry him!
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Re: how do you know

Postby 2bmrsc » Tue Feb 21, 2022 6:12 pm

hi and thanks for the reply,Youre right about being able to talk to him and I have,Ive talked with him previously and said that if he doesnt want to get married I dont mind but Id rather know,and hes said he does,Ive also said that he could arrange certain parts and that I would do the other bits to which i got a"mmm yeah" reply,although.... soon after posting this earlier he rang me,the usual"what time are ya heading to work?"etc,I said i was online looking for a wedding calculator to work out a budget and asked him if he would have half the money along the way by next august and he said he would work it out so that he'd have it and he said"we'd"be saving not just one of us so I was happy with that,I just dont want to think that Im annoying him into doing something he would rather not do,Think I want him to be as excited as I am,Im really looking forward to it.Maybe its different for men than it is for us women.....
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Re: how do you know

Postby Dr of love » Wed Feb 22, 2022 8:31 am

OP, what on earth are you doing telling him you don't mind if he doesnt want to get married! It seems clear to me that you are both trying to be 'cool' and not wear your hearts on your slieves! You are certainly doing that based on what you have said and he is likely doing the same (either as a result of your behaviour or more likely its him who started it). I have been guilty of this in the past myself, and it is toxic for a relationship, and makes you feel really sad and insecure all the time. I know you are afraid he doesnt love you enough and might not want to be married and I know its hard when he doesnt react to your round about way of nudging him to be excited but you are basically playing games. You are marrying this man and the fact that you have reached this point means you both want to be there so stop being so insecure and be straight with him about your excitement. I know its disappointing when he not only doesnt get on board but also barely acknowledges your prompts but he may well just be a 'holding back' kinda guy. I suspect if you get more straight with him and stop caring if you are making a fool of yourselve being in love and excited to get married, he will relax a bit and follow your lead.
(Maybe I am more talking here about my own past situation than yours but maybe it helps)
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Re: how do you know

Postby 2bmrsc » Wed Feb 22, 2022 10:12 am

hiya dr.of love,loving the name!have no problem talking the "other half"thank god,I am very outstraight with him,dont believe in messing around at this stage,10 yrs later,,,lol,when i say I dont mind if he doesnt wanna marry me I mean that if hes not into the whole "wedding"thing it doesn't bother me but id rather he say it than be making plans for something that wouldnt happen,obviously i know that he wants to be with me or we wouldnt be where we are today so im not insecure about that,we are "married"as it is ie having "done"everything apart from the wedding(we've got 2 kids in school,have a house and the dog,etc etc,family life),so I think that its the last thing thats in our chapter,,does that make sense?been there done that with everything else so its kinda the last thing that we are going to do,,,,,think hes more of a practical person than i am,,lol,hes thinking new car while im thinking "venues"lol
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Re: how do you know

Postby 2bmrsc » Thu Feb 23, 2022 12:41 pm

how do i now delete this post please,,thanks everyone,
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Re: how do you know

Postby betty draper » Thu Feb 23, 2022 3:38 pm

2bmrsc wrote:how do i now delete this post please,,thanks everyone,


to delete the post fo to edit on the actual post you want to delete and just remove the text. you will probably have to write deleted as you have to have a minimum amount of letters before it will post
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