His needy ex

by **vintageweddingdress** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 12:44 pm

Needing some advice/reassurance on a sensitive topic. My h2b has an ex who has been very in appropriate in her contact to him in the past. since her relationship ended they have been in frequent enough contact. In the last year she has sent him some very inappropriate messages which he knows I saw. He claims that he is handling the situation but I know that he calls her every so often. I trust that he won't be unfaithful but her lack of respect towards our relationship is very frustrating and I'm afraid that bringing her up with him will cause an argument. What should I do??

by **petri** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 1:30 pm

Get rid of her. I don't see why they have to be in contact and especially if she is sending inappropriate messages that is not on. How would he feel if the tables were turned :eek

Lindy79 · by **Lindy79** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 2:46 pm

Agreed, its all very well wanting to stay friends with an ex but when it is crossing a line like that and providing there is no children involved (as it would be harder to just cut her out) then yes I agree he needs to cut ties with her.
She has shown such a lack of respect for you and your relationship and to be honest, he needs to deal with it quickly.
Why is he wanting to stay in contact with her? Does he feel guilty about their breakup?

by **vintageweddingdress** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 2:55 pm

I agree. It's the lack of respect that gets me! She has recently said she misses him and wants him to call. I want to bring it up but am afraid of an argument! They broke up over 10 years ago and it seems that since her relationship ended badly she is living some sort of fantasy about my h2b.. I know he didn't confront her about being totally out of line in her messages and that definitely adds to the problem!

by **000sunshine** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 4:41 pm

Sorry to hear your having a bit of trouble. Theres nothing worse than a bit of drama to put a dampner on things :(
I have no problem staying in touch with an ex. Im still in contact with mine (albeit it very irregularly but we share a common group of friends so sometimes our paths cross.)
However if he was ever to get inappropriate I would cut ties immediately.
In my opinion ita really disrespectful of her but I would also feel like he was being disrespectful to me too. I would want my fella to say rights that's enough either stop or this contact ends.
It obviously bothers you (as it would me!) so could you not ait down and talk to him, explaining that even though you trust him completely it just makes you feel a little uncomfortable?

HellsBelles · by **HellsBelles** » Wed Feb 22, 2022 5:36 pm

Get rid of her.. she's obviously an ex for a reason so why stay in contact? Especially if there are inappropriate things going on. He's with you now and she should respect that.

by **Jawl** » Thu Feb 23, 2022 11:30 am

They broke up for a reason. I have no problem with people remaining on friendly terms with their ex's, but I'd go absolutely nuts if Mr. Jawl was ringing his ex. Why would he need to? Especially when she's being inappropriate and it upsets you. Does your h2b know that you are upset about her?

ghan · by **ghan** » Thu Feb 23, 2022 8:54 pm

I completely agree with Jawl on this one. What is he doing? He needs to break the chain with her if it is inappropriate like that and completely unfair on you?

MichelleBelle · by **MichelleBelle** » Fri Feb 24, 2022 2:13 pm

vintageweddingdress wrote: She has recently said she misses him and wants him to call. I want to bring it up but am afraid of an argument! They broke up over 10 years ago and it seems that since her relationship ended badly she is living some sort of fantasy about my h2b.. I know he didn't confront her about being totally out of line in her messages and that definitely adds to the problem!

I'm amazed at this, how can you be afraid of an arguement?
You're marrying this man and you can't talk to him about an ex that won't leave him alone?
Sorry, but this is bizarre.

Afraid of an arguement? I'd be ringing the b!tch myself looking for an arguement and telling her to back off.
And then I'd be telling him that he can pack his bags unless he agrees to stop all contact.
This is not a friendship, and she is threat. Even if you don't think he would be unfaithful, her presence in your relationship will always make things tough.

She must see you as a complete pushover and is probably laughing behind your back.
You need to toughen up and get this sorted, sorry if I'm being harsh but I'm just saying it how it is.

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