mistake??

by **bobbles2012** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 1:10 am

deleted thank you for your support xx

HippyChic · by **HippyChic** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 2:28 am

Throw things away too hastily? Are you f*cking mental? I don't know if you're trolling or not but jesus christ either way get counselling - either for your compulsive need to tell lies if you are a troll or for your serious lack of self-worth if you're not.
I'm not going to tell you to leave him, that's your decision, but you NEED to get help, you need someone on your side, someone you'll trust, to make you strong enough to either completely turn this relationship around or strong enough to leave this idiot you've married.

Seriously. Ring your parents. Ring your friends. Tell them what is going on and tomorrow go and get some help.

by **bobbles2012** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 2:37 am

ok thanks i can assure you im not a troll nor a compulsive liar, i went anon to get some advice, we went for councelling last year and he agreed he needed to change but things have gone back to the way they were
jesus i honeslty didnt expect such a harsh response

by **Dr of love** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 8:12 am

Hi Bobbles, it sounds like you are living in hell, and not just recently. My I ask why you are still there? Is it because you are married and are afraid of the embarrasment etc. of calling it a day on your marriage so early? Or do you still love him and the thought of leaving leaves you cold? The answer to that changes everything.

I very much believe that you must make your choices about marriage carefully and then stick out the bad with the good. HOWEVER when a marriage is destroying/damaging either one or both people on a daily basis, and this can't be improved (ie both parties don't wholeheartedly make efforts to improve the situation), then it is best to dissolve it and move on. It sounds like you have tried and it didnt work.

Only you can make this decision, we have no idea how much you love him or what the future might become for you if you are to stay together but never feel ashamed to walk away from something that is doing you damage, in fact quite the opposite, it's to be admired.

Good luck.

HippyChic · by **HippyChic** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 1:35 pm

bobbles2012 wrote:ok thanks i can assure you im not a troll nor a compulsive liar, i went anon to get some advice, we went for councelling last year and he agreed he needed to change but things have gone back to the way they were
jesus i honeslty didnt expect such a harsh response

Ah now I was only harsh in respect of you possibly trolling. If you are a regular then you'll know the relationships section is rife with them.

I'm not saying you should go for counselling together - YOU need to go for counselling on your OWN. You need to figure out why it is that you're allowing yourself to be treated like this and what you're going to do to stop it - either by leaving your husband or by making some serious changes to your relationship.

You NEED to tell someone outside of this forum about what is going on - a GP/parent/friend - anyone. You can't bear this weight of pain on your own.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm simply trying to point out the facts to you. You're in an abusive marriage that you seem to have "fallen" into so as not to rock the boat. You deserve better than that. What would you say to a friend who confided the same story to you?

Skinnymini · by **Skinnymini** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 3:55 pm

All a bit too far fetched for me...

by **Dr of love** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 4:45 pm

Skinnymini wrote:All a bit too far fetched for me...

Well done you, for possibly 'outing' a troll. On the other hand, if you are wrong, you are just an a**hole for your snide comment.

Sorry but this 'troll calling' really gets to me. If you think its a troll, then don't respond. The risk of getting it wrong is horrific for someone else.

PT2012 · by **PT2012** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 4:58 pm

Dr of love wrote:
Skinnymini wrote:All a bit too far fetched for me...

Well done you, for possibly 'outing' a troll. On the other hand, if you are wrong, you are just an a**hole for your snide comment.

Sorry but this 'troll calling' really gets to me. If you think its a troll, then don't respond. The risk of getting it wrong is horrific for someone else.

A bit harsh!
It is an open forum and wollies can reply with whatever they want.
If you post on a public site expect replies you do not want to hear - troll or not!

peacockgirl · by **peacockgirl** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 5:05 pm

...

by **bobbles2012** » Thu Mar 01, 2022 7:25 pm

For everyone who has given me advice i thank you from the bottom of my heart, i really do. i really needed some outside advice, for the doubters if it seems farfetched i dont know what to say its all true

My head is all over the place its not like i let him away with this treatment i do stand up for myself i dont just sit there and let him have his way he does know that its not right what is going on and he constantly promises to do better but than says that i cant leave the past go and should be able to forgive him and move on and start afresh and part of me cant do that i suppose i resent how he can wake up every morning and act like we didnt have a massive row the night before.

He does have his good points i have to admit. He does quite alot for me such as driving me to work, making me cuppas, pouring baths etc he says he does all this because he loves me but his attitude doesnt show he loves me i keep telling him. Its like one big recurring fight because i go cold and stop talking to him which makes him worse.

I suppose its partly true about calling time on the marriage for many points because i would be embarassed,(which i know sounds ridiculous) parts because i dont know if 5 months in is enough to know if we can truly turn around this marriage and im not sure if i love him or not anymore. i feel so lost, and you are right i will look into councelling for myself

than you for your support xxx

katief · by **katief** » Fri Mar 02, 2022 12:45 pm

I'd re-read your first post if I were you. You clearly have such a low self worth, that you're willing to accept crumbs thrown at you and are only attracted to damaged men.

This man's depression, this man's aggression, this man's anger, this man's sorrow, this man's sadness, is, and read very carefully NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

You have a responsibility to yourself to protect yourself and work on your low self esteem issues. And quite frankly, how dare if you if don't.

Force yourself to listen to logic, even if you don't feel it. Look after yourself.

Skinnymini · by **Skinnymini** » Fri Mar 02, 2022 2:16 pm

Dr of love wrote:
Skinnymini wrote:All a bit too far fetched for me...

Well done you, for possibly 'outing' a troll. On the other hand, if you are wrong, you are just an a**hole for your snide comment.

Sorry but this 'troll calling' really gets to me. If you think its a troll, then don't respond. The risk of getting it wrong is horrific for someone else.

Patronisng much?

Would ya go and f**k

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