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I don't know how to deal with this

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I don't know how to deal with this

Postby anonnee » Thu Mar 08, 2022 2:14 pm

Hi-
I am posting anonymously.

My H2B took a new position in work about a year ago. The pressure is insane and he is now based in EU. The position was supposed to be a temporary one but due to the economic climate he is the only option as far as the company are concerned. I thought he was coping well, even enjoying it at times but all of a sudden things seem to have gotten much harder for him to deal with. He has spoken with his boss and the response was this is a bad time because i don't have anywhere else to put you. Its a bubble things will calm down. We will hire more people. None of those things have lead H2B to believe the position will improve.

He is now talking about packing it in. We like everyone else out there have a mortgage and bills to pay along with an upcoming wedding. I am trying to be supportive. I have suggested making cuts to our wedding plans and honeymoon etc but he then says thats not an option. I need him to be realistic but i want to be supportive and not add to the pressure he is feeling. He has seen a doctor and explained how low he is feeling but it doesn't appear to have helped. I know this isn't something that can be resolved over night.

I love him more than anything in the world and want nothing than to make him feel better but i just don't know how to do that. I know that if he jacks in this job and cannot get another (highly likely in the current environment) that his mental health will suffer more.

I have family members that have suffered from depression and i have seen how debilitating it can be on the individual and those around them. I don't want that life again. I'm not suggesting i don't want my partner because even with depression i do. Is there anything i can do to improve the situation. When i ask him he says just listening helps. But honestly from the outside looking in its not helping because things are just getting worse.
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Re: I don't know how to deal with this

Postby woolly » Sat Mar 10, 2022 11:43 pm

In my opinion your OH is more important than his job! If he feels that he is asking for help (from his Boss) and things aren't changing and he can't quit his job because of financial pressures, what will give? Probably him in one way or another. I understand all of the financial reasons why you don't want him to quit but he is miserable and might have to for the sake of his health, either mental or physical or both. It's an awful situation to be in and i'm really sorry for you and your OH. Hope things get better for you both :)
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Re: I don't know how to deal with this

Postby Mustang Sally » Sun Mar 11, 2022 10:20 am

Would it be an option for you to move to where he is based? He might feel a lot better if you were there to support him and he might not feel as lonely? I realise this might not be at all an option or even the problem.....

God, it's very hard but if a job was that stressful or making my OH that unhappy I'd say pack it in too....easy for me to say though, probably in a very different situation....
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Re: I don't know how to deal with this

Postby bananabread » Sun Mar 11, 2022 11:54 am

Have just sent you a pm
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Re: I don't know how to deal with this

Postby Grey Alien » Mon Mar 12, 2022 10:00 pm

broodymissus wrote:Have just sent you a pm

so have I .
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