Hate being single!!

by **spinster09** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 6:01 pm

Hi Ladies, hope ye can help. So I've been single for nearly 3.5 years and really lonely at this point as 99% of my friends are now in serious relationships or married with kids. I've tried online dating met a couple of nice guys I thought but they weren't interested, very outgoing in that I go anywhere I'm invited, sadly though the invites are getting less and less for nights out, it's now weddings (cringe as I have no partner to bring with me), christenings again same story or nights out with all the couples. I'm living in the West and looking for somewhere to meet a man. It's really getting me down at this stage, it's completely taking over my mindset, I suppose I'm concious that time is moving on, I'm in my mid 30's and obviously would love to meet someone who loves me and me them and have a family. Hope ye can help me and don't think I'm a sado!

I suppose I should add that I had been emailing/texting a guy for the last month or that, we met twice, got on well (I thought)....met him last Thursday night, went to the cinema (nothing happened). Went for coffee afterwards, kissed before we left each other, he text to say he had a lovely eve....... we were texting over and back ended with a kiss on text. Then I text on Friday to see if he wanted to meet up for a few bevvies at the weekend and nothing..............So now I'm holding out, he knew I was up for meeting the weekend, my last text had a question in it and no response, that was last Friday

by **mrsmook** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 8:59 pm

I was in same situation and like you tried internet dating, if I were you I'd stay on dating sites, you'd never know who would pop up! I went on a lot of dates and it definately got me back into going out as I had been in a bit of a rut where I found it easier to have friends over for meal & wine. I met my DH in place I started going to as a result of my dates. How about any friends / brothers etc of friends. I'm not saying for blind dates but your friend could arrange nights out that you both happen to be at?

Also as corny as this sounds you def do meet someone when you aren't looking, so maybe if you try to get into new interest or hobby/group there might be a guy you click with

lulu126 · by **lulu126** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 9:52 am

I agree with Mrs Mook. Maybe try a new hobby and definitely stay on the dating sites because you never know who you might meet. I tried the internet dating thing and while I didn't meet h2b on it, I met a guy who I ended up becoming very good friends with. He dragged me out on a night out one night when I wasn't really in the mood but went along anyway and ended up meeting h2b in a bar. I think especially if your friends are all going out less or it's all becoming a bit couply then definitely looking for ways to expand your social circle might be helpful. You don't sound like a sado at all btw- you sound lovely!

Hate to say it but maybe don't hold out for the guy you've been texting. If he hasn't text back by now, he's no manners on him and therefore not worthy of your waiting on him.

mrsbo · by **mrsbo** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 10:32 am

Hey
So sorry to hear that you are having a tough time

.
I am married now after a whirlwind relationship but I was single for 5 years after a bad breakup and could have written this a ccouple of years ago so the main thing I would say is keep going, go anywhere and everywhere , join clubs, go for weekends away to towns in Ireland and try and meet people. Get involved in a charity, exercise club , anything at all where guys go !!!!

Not to sound hard but meeting someone is a numbers game, the more guys you meet, the more chance there will be that you will meet a decent hot guy that you click with.....and could be the one

I too would advise to keep going with Internet Dating , as I found that even tho I didnt meet a significant guy on line I met lots of decent hot guys , who gave me real confidence for when I met by hubbie, also I took the approach of meeting plenty of guys on it for coffee etc, dont pin your hopes on one guy until you have gotten to know them well...approach it like you are dating, like the americans do it; just having fun and getting to know people. My sister , my cousin and a close friend all met their HUSBANDS online following my advice...so trust me on this!!!!!

Also reading a book called 'He's just not that into you' by Greg Behrendt ( now a movie but message in the book is better) ....it helped me get over my break-up but more importantly taught me how to value 'me' ( corny I know) , and not waste time with guys who didnt bother calling etc, 'only wanted fun' etc ....it taught me to weed out the losers and not settle for less, and as a result of it my type of guy completely changed and so did my standards.

Try and get too know some other girls in your wider circle that are single who are in the same place as you and hang out with them in your free time......its not easy but you will get there- dont give up , and keep us posted :wv

lorraine78 · by **lorraine78** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 5:23 pm

Hey hun,my best friend is in the same situation as you.All our close circle of friends are either married or very soon to be,and she's single.I feel so bad when she texts asking for a night out and telling her i'm saving every penny for the wedding,plus my going to nightclub days are well and truly over.She's joined a gym and a couple of other groups and she's meeting loads of singles,so maybe if you look into that.As the others said,dont pin all your hopes on one guy,go out have loads of fun and it'll happen when you least expect it.

by **Claresey** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 5:59 pm

A few of my close friends are in the same situation as you. Do you mind me asking what age you are? Most of my group of girlfriends are in relationships so when the two or three single girls chat about the guys they meet, we love hearing all the scandal! I know they do get fed up with being single though and I do understand. Sometimes if we are going away on weekends they might feel a bit reluctant to come along. I have to say, I still make a huge effort to go out with the single girls on nights out, and so do all the other girls we hang out with. I love having the girlie nights out and being a wingwoman and in my opinion getting out on the social scene is the best way to meet decent men. I dont think Id be confident enough to do the dating online thing, Id be a bit embarrassed. I way prefer the casual chatting to people on a night out and having the craic with different guys. Also, go on nights out with your friends and their boyfriends and try to meet their male friends. Above all, I think you should keep an open mind. For so many of the great couples I know it wasnt "love at first sight"!

by **LizLemon** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 9:09 pm

Two close friends of mine met their husbands through tag rugby!! One of them is not sporty at all and still loved it, its more about the social scene than the sport I think!! If you don't meet someone you like you'll still have fun trying it! The spring/summer is the season for it so look up your local team! Good Luck!

Finicky Fi · by **Finicky Fi** » Fri Apr 06, 2022 9:25 am

I'm single too. But I don't mind being single.
I'm happy in my own company, doing my own thing and am lucky that I have great friends that like the same things and to socialise as I do.
I think it's like anything - watching a kettle boil if you like.
If you're desperate for something, it will only seem more difficult to achieve.
Just relax.

smiley03 · by **smiley03** » Fri Apr 06, 2022 5:17 pm

Dont lose fate...i no its probally easier siad than done but i always believe that when u stop looking for a potential partner that someone will come along when u least expect it...A few yrs ago i went throu a bad breakup and was enjoying the single life and wasnt interested in meeting anyone for a while when i was swept off my feet by my now fiance and 9 years laters were getting married...My sister was the same way..she had been unlucky in love, joined a dating website and is no in a very happy relationship and has a 7mth old baby...so keep the fate and you find that man of your dreams...

by **rooroo02** » Sat Apr 07, 2022 11:39 pm

Hi Spinster09,

I was single for a long time. Did the whole going to friends weddings/parties on my own and yes sometimes it was mortifying!) Sometimes of course I was lonely but looking back now I gained so much independence doing things on my own. Bought my own house and loved the freedom it brought to me. When I look back now I am so glad I had those few years where I had no-one to worry about except myself because despite what I thought at the time I was no where near ready to settle down.

In 2009 I met my now fiancee on a night out with family that I had tried my best to get out of! I was 29 and I will be 33 when I get married next year.

My honest advice is to relax and don't stress yourself out. Trust me you will find him when you least expect it. I know that's how it happened for me XxX

by **olive oyl** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 3:13 pm

Pm'd you

by **wexmum2013** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 12:23 pm

Definitely stick to the online dating and just enjoy the dates and see what happens.

My marriage broke up and I didn't know how to go about dating, i had been in a relationship for over 10 years, basically my whole adult life and had never been on a proper date!! But after several dates, which provided some laughs and (but mainly just funny / cringe stories for my friends), i eventually met the most wonderful man in the world.
We've been together for 2 years and have just started to try for a baby and i have never been so happy in my entire life, so it does work.

by **Wilma Flintstone** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 11:23 pm

Hi I know exactly how you feel, like you I've been single for a couple of years. I hope your friends are better than mine as its rare any of them want to go out, between children and money issues they want to spend their rare nights out with husbands.....I haven't had a proper night out since last July as no one is interested!!!!
No point moaning about it but I have realised who my real friends are and to be honest I stopped trying a while ago. All the posts from the wollies are good ones and worth a try! Ive decided to stop looking and when it's meant to be it will happen....good luck :thnk

by **lovemybed** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 11:31 pm

This forum title really touched a cord with me I was 27 before I had a boyfriend.I kept visualising I would be the old neighbour/cousin/friend who "never married" or something. Going home for Christmas was an ordeal for me, just because I was expecting aunts and uncles to ask me the enevitable "Any boys??" and immediately i would get embarrassed, i was paranoid and just assumed they'd assumed i was gay.
anyway I met the man of my dreams and still cant believe it but marrying him in 2 weeks! be confident and stick to your good feeling regardless of perceived attraction. have a ball and fall in love

by **Lastminutebride2be** » Sun Apr 22, 2022 7:30 pm

Do keep dating as that does get you out.
I was 36 and really thought I was never going to meet anyone when I met my oh on an internet date,
I thank my lucky stars I had the nerve to do it as three years later we are happily married coming up to our 1st year anniversary.
I also agree with reading the book, very good advice in it,plus it is really based around dating which it takes a bit of getting used to initially.
My otherhalf called internet dating "interviews" and I have to agree with him as most people doing it do genuinely want to meet someone but the initial dates are really like interviews.
Like another poster said you sound like a lovely person and there is someone out there for you, you just have to believe it, and also realize they won't fall on your lap and doing stuff like taking up new hobbies, internet dating at least means you are out meeting potentials.
Best of Luck and you will meet someone who deserves you.

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