Anyones family not happy about the marriage?

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Wed Apr 11, 2022 8:40 pm

While my parents get along really well with OH, they don't approve of us getting married. They never really did approve of our relationship, mostly because of the age difference (he's older). I had thought that things were better now that we've been together over 4 years!

But now that we're actually planning the wedding, it all comes out again. It's like I want to just plan it all myself to avoid being judged. But my family can't be excited about it if they don't want it to happen! :o(

Don't really know what to do!

amthee · by **amthee** » Wed Apr 11, 2022 9:16 pm

Couldn't read you post and not reply. I'm really sorry to hear that your family don't approve. I know it should be a happy time for you and your h2b. You should try sitting down with your family letting them know that regardless of how they feel you are getting married and they need to put their feelings aside and be happy for you.

April13 · by **April13** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 9:01 am

There is no age difference really between myself and h2b (2years) but my mother would prefer we waited... im 25 not 15!!!!!!

I understand how hard this is, everytime i asked mam for an opinion she would huff at me....

She has improved a bit now but still not with me 100%!!!! :(

Talk to your parents, ive talked to mam lots and shes coming round cuz shes starting to realise how much i love h2b and how much he loves me!!!1 :-8

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 9:57 am

Thanks for you replies guys, Amthee I used to try and talk to her about it but it ended in argument, so now I've just let her say her piece and try and ignore her. But it puts a dampener at looking at wedding dresses!

Mrsduffy2b, I have the same issue as you, as well as the age gap, everyone thinks i'm too young to get married, but then again, maybe I am! I don't want to make a mistake by getting married too young, but I don't feel as if I am too young! That's probably another issue though!

I don't want them to ever get to say 'I told you so!'

niftythrifty · by **niftythrifty** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 10:07 am

OP, do you mind me asking what age you are? I am in my early 20s and getting married next year. I think it took a while for my Mum to get her head around me getting married so young (even though I don't think it is young!)

April13 · by **April13** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 10:11 am

If you love ur h2b and cant c urself with anyone else and ur sure he feels the same, dont worry cuz only u can no and parents i think just dont want their children to grow up!!!! :-8

Im the only girl in my house and i am the oldest and my brothers are youngish (lol) but once ur sure, ur parents will come around.....

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 11:40 am

Hiya nifty I'm 22, will be 24 when we get married all going to plan. He's nearly 30 now. How old are you? And how did you get your mam to come around?

My bro's getting married next year and that was a big shock to everyone as they announced the engagement and then started planning straight away. I gave them a while to let it sink in before we even mentioned weddings. Ah well!

April13 · by **April13** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 11:50 am

Mrs2014 wrote:Hiya nifty I'm 22, will be 24 when we get married all going to plan. He's nearly 30 now. How old are you? And how did you get your mam to come around?

My bro's getting married next year and that was a big shock to everyone as they announced the engagement and then started planning straight away. I gave them a while to let it sink in before we even mentioned weddings. Ah well!

I was 24 when i got engaged and will just b 26 when married.... H2b will be 29 when we get married....

Dont worry bout it too much u dont wan ur wedding thoughts to be of bad feeling from ur family.... they will adjust in time........

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 11:54 am

Mrsduffy2be, is your mam concerned that you're too young as well? It's weird cos I think my mam was 24 when she got married, but it was more normal then. Surely they should be glad.. if I were a 30something year old workaholic, they'd be at me to find a man to settle down with. Sure can't please everyone! O:|

April13 · by **April13** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 11:57 am

My mam and dad where 28/29 when they married and had me 9 months later!!!! :o0

Mam will get over it, i no she will.... I think she thinks im just settling but im not.....

Ya no the way ur parents imagine u'll marry a brian surgeon and they'll look after and provide for u for the rest of your life.... i think mam would love that but im real independent which makes dad proud of me but mam loves the idea of the man looking after the woman still...

She is spoilt rotten by dad!!!!!!!

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 12:05 pm

My mam is spoilt rotten too and so am I! But yeah your definitely right, she thinks I'm settling for the first guy who came along and puts up with me! I know he's not perfect but who is?! I'm certainly not!

It's weird, she seems fine with it, and they do get a long really well. Then i'm showing her stuff in a bridal magazine and she just sighs and says "I think you're too young to be getting married". I just told her I know how she feels but she can stop saying it!!

Mari yay · by **Mari yay** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 1:24 pm

There's 7.5 years between me and my husband, nobody ever mentioned it, it's nobody's business either. My dad was just happy I was with someone who treats me well.
We don't get on with his family, his brother and sister didn't come to the wedding but that's a different story. We are happier with things this way, no contact.
My sister was 26 when she got married, I thought at the time it was young but think that's because we are twins and there's no way I was ready at 26! I never said anything, like I said it wasn't my business!

Mrs2014 · by **Mrs2014** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 1:52 pm

Mari yay, I wish my family were more like yours, they don't have any concept of "not their business". I wish. I just have to have selective hearing, you never know when they're going to start verbally sh!tting all over your plans!

Mari yay · by **Mari yay** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 4:38 pm

Mrs2014 wrote:Mari yay, I wish my family were more like yours, they don't have any concept of "not their business". I wish. I just have to have selective hearing, you never know when they're going to start verbally sh!tting all over your plans!

DH's family were like that, telling him he couldn't invite one person to his own wedding. That was almost a year ago, haven't seen them, he's the better for it.

Eleanor Rigby · by **Eleanor Rigby** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 7:08 pm

Hi Mrs2014,

I'm sorry to hear your family don't approve, that must be making this special time difficult.

I'm in a similar situation in that my family, Mum especially, thinks I'm too young to get married. They all get on with my H2B and I think they realise we're making a mature decision that we're ready for. I'm 25 now and we got engaged a couple of days after my birthday, I'll be just 26 getting married.

At first Mum was upset, and she'd cry about it but she's more on board now. I think she saw that her attitude was making me sad so she's adjusted it accordingly. All I can say Mrs2014 is hopefully your family will come around, maybe you could discuss how important this decision is to you and how you would love them to share your happiness.

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