Cheating

by **Alli1** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 3:43 pm

I was just wondering if anybody has been in my
Situation , am gettig married in nov , its all bookd
And depositd n all go ,

May last year i found out my fiance was cheating
He swore never again and blah blah blah

Found out yesterday hes had cheated again
I dont know what to do ...

SunnyK · by **SunnyK** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 3:55 pm

Been there, done that! Dumped him and cancelled the wedding - lost a heap of money but kept my sanity and self respect. Get rid of him!

Nostress · by **Nostress** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 3:59 pm

Sorry to hear your situation

Lose you deposits rather than anymore time on this dope.
Get out now

mymission · by **mymission** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 5:27 pm

Aw you poor thing. Really sorry to hear this. You must be in bits.
I'm afraid I have to agree with the other posters. If this is the second time and he promised not to ever do it again etc, you have to face facts and see you do you want this to deal with this kind of behaviour for the rest of your life.
I wouldn;t worry about deposits or payments of any sort at this time.
You need to think about yourself and what is best for you. Think of it in terms of - what would I do if I was not even engaged to this person, and if the question of deposits paid etc did not even come into it.

I wish you all the best. Have you confided in a close friend or family member about whats going on??
You may think that you would prefer to keep it all private, but believe me you need support right now.

All the best :xox

Nobigdress · by **Nobigdress** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 5:46 pm

You must be in bits. Sorry to hear you have to go through this again with the same man. I think that should tell you all you need to know and Nov is far enough away to walk away without too much financial loss or embarrasment. The truth is that he cheats. Some people cheat once and don't again but the problem with cheating is that you get a taste for it and it dulls your sense of how wrong it is when you do it even once. This makes it easier to do again. He has done it again even after seeing what it did to you the last time. If you can be strong about this the best thing for you (objectively) is to walk away, you would be doing yourself a very big favour. If not, then you need to accept that this will happen again. Some women can put up with this. You need to decide if you are one of them.

by **Alli1** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 6:50 pm

To be honest, i dont care about the money,

I love him

Plus everybodys so excited about the wedding,

I havent aaid anything to anybody
They know he did it the first time
Can only imagine what they would do if
They found out

ginger power · by **ginger power** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 7:49 pm

Alli1 wrote:To be honest, i dont care about the money,

I love him

Plus everybodys so excited about the wedding,

I havent aaid anything to anybody
They know he did it the first time
Can only imagine what they would do if
They found out

sorry to hear what is happening to you, its up to you if ya want to get married but if he is doing this now, what will happen when you get married to him??

by **Alli1** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 10:00 pm

Tanx for the kind words!!

2bmrsc · by **2bmrsc** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 9:50 am

a little quote: cheat on me once shame on you,cheat on me twice,shame on me,otherwords,,,PLEASE dont be a doormat,yes you love him and you were looking forward to having your big day but unless you can look into his eyes that day knowing what hes done twice and be happy,,,dont go through with it,I wish you luck though,hard choice,I just wouldnt stay,rather be heartbroken for a year without him than for the rest of my life with him,xxxxxx

Lennyx · by **Lennyx** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 10:01 am

Alli1, so sorry to hear what your going through. You must be heart broken by what he has done to you especially after promising preivously it wouldn't happen again.

I just wanted to share a story with you about a girl I know of, who was in a similar position to yourself. She found that out her partner had cheated on her a number of times while they were engaged. He swore blind that he loved her and it would never ever happen again so they went ahead with the wedding. In fact they went all out with the wedding he told her to book anything & everything she wanted, wedding cost an absolute fortune (it was obviously his way of trying to keep her happy). Roll on 4 months after the wedding she comes home early from work to find him in their bed with another girl. It turns out they were only home one week from hooneymoon and he started an affair with some girl. They hadn't even been married 1 month when it started. She was heart broken but again forgave him when he promised her the sun moon & stars so she again forgave him & got on with married life. Then 2 months later she finds messages on his phone to the same girl she caught him with. She kicked him out and went on to divorce him. I remember meeting her about a year after all this happend and she said to me the worst decision she made was to go ahead with the wedding because not only did it put her in debt but it meant that her life was tied to him until the divorce came through. If she hadn't of married him it would have been so much easier to deal with what happened and get over him!!

No matter what you choose to do make sure you take the time to be fully sure its the right decision to take. Wish you luck :wv

Magsk · by **Magsk** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 11:29 am

After reading i had to post, so sory to hear about this but its only depoists your self respect is worth so much more, i too had a friend is the same boat she went ahead with her wedding because she didnt want to let people down little did they know he marriage lasted 6 months because he cheated again after the wedding, my advice get out now while you can xxxx hugs

Mrs2babridesoon · by **Mrs2babridesoon** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 11:37 am

Alli1 wrote:To be honest, i dont care about the money,

I love him

Plus

I havent aaid anything to anybody
They know he did it the first time
Can only imagine what they would do if
They found out

Alli1, if you love him and feel you can't let him go, DON'T, try and save your relationship, but at least be real about the whole situation he cheated again and again and being very blunt they are only the stories you've found out about. Postpone the wedding at least you may be super ready but your OH definitely isn't.

Re ''everybodys so excited about the wedding'' tell them the truth of what you have found out and ask them how much they want to share in you fairy tale day. Maybe what you need is to see people reactions, to realise the horror of what he has done, if you were my sister I would be so gutted for you, I'd be heartborken that he had betrayed your trust, again.

P.S. Don't kid yourself you are the only one that knows about this, normally the person who is being cheated on is the last to know!

by **new start** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 8:03 am

it's a sugar situation to be in, but do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering if he's been secreative, why he's late home from work etc.

Thats just not fair on you, you deserve a marriage where you both feel secure.

by **Cinnabon** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 8:38 am

It's really up to you but if it were me I would get out now.

I know a girl who was the other woman, the guy left his wife for her and then went on to marry her. Roll on not long after they are married and the guy is caught again. Moral in my eyes is a leopard really doesn't change it's spots. Some guys just can't help themselves.

me julie · by **me julie** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 1:04 pm

Think about this down the line after your married. If you have children dont know if you already have but then it will be way worse get out now. You derserve better.

Who is online