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Would this bother you?

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Re: Would this bother you?

Postby Littlebo » Thu May 03, 2022 12:34 am

theoracle wrote:I would offer a different point of view though. I think this is not a matter of 'proving' that you trust your husband. Yes, I do think it would make me feel uncomfortable, because if it were me, I would not deliberately put myself into the position where I would have one-to-one time with a man that I think (or know) fancies me, purely because I would see it as encouraging the feelings IYKWIM. I would still be friendly with them, I wouldn't ignore them or sideline them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time alone with them. The situation you describe would make me think that, while he may not have any malintentions, he probably quite enjoys being fancied and adored and it massages his ego to spend time with a (much younger) girl.


Oh without a doubt The oracle. I dindn't directly mention the trusting the Husband issue at all as it can open many a range. I know you are not saying this but the post reeks of the Husband enjoying it all. I Have thought about this for the last couple of days and realised why it still keeps coming into my head. My Friend living in the capital has a way too friendly relationship with a man who works wiht her. He's married with a 2 year old child and we are at our wits ends trying to get her stop talking about him. She's single he's married and he texts and rings her at all times in their "friends" way. They are not having an affair I know that but he is leading her on. He calls her "his best friend" and it's bull. He's loving all the attention and worshipping that is going on and she is enthralled by him. They have never kissed even when he has tried. She has him on a pedastel and we have had our work cut out for us trying to get her to see sense. He is playing, playing her and we cannot get her to see it. It's very strange she isn't going her after him in the typical sexual way but he seems to have a hold completely on her.

Some men, love to get their egos stroked. Lets be honest and if I'm honest they are the ones I least trust or like.
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Re: Would this bother you?

Postby peanutbutter » Fri May 04, 2022 9:04 am

Littlebo wrote:
theoracle wrote:I would offer a different point of view though. I think this is not a matter of 'proving' that you trust your husband. Yes, I do think it would make me feel uncomfortable, because if it were me, I would not deliberately put myself into the position where I would have one-to-one time with a man that I think (or know) fancies me, purely because I would see it as encouraging the feelings IYKWIM. I would still be friendly with them, I wouldn't ignore them or sideline them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time alone with them. The situation you describe would make me think that, while he may not have any malintentions, he probably quite enjoys being fancied and adored and it massages his ego to spend time with a (much younger) girl.


Oh without a doubt The oracle. I dindn't directly mention the trusting the Husband issue at all as it can open many a range. I know you are not saying this but the post reeks of the Husband enjoying it all. I Have thought about this for the last couple of days and realised why it still keeps coming into my head. My Friend living in the capital has a way too friendly relationship with a man who works wiht her. He's married with a 2 year old child and we are at our wits ends trying to get her stop talking about him. She's single he's married and he texts and rings her at all times in their "friends" way. They are not having an affair I know that but he is leading her on. He calls her "his best friend" and it's bull. He's loving all the attention and worshipping that is going on and she is enthralled by him. They have never kissed even when he has tried. She has him on a pedastel and we have had our work cut out for us trying to get her to see sense. He is playing, playing her and we cannot get her to see it. It's very strange she isn't going her after him in the typical sexual way but he seems to have a hold completely on her.

Some men, love to get their egos stroked. Lets be honest and if I'm honest they are the ones I least trust or like.


How does your friends situation have any relevance to mine?
Are you comparing my DH going for lunch (in work canteen) occasionally with a girl to your friend being obsessed with a married man who rings her, texts her & has tried to kiss her?!
Sounds like a very odd situation, she is infatuated with him yet when he tries it on she's having none of it???

I'm sure it is an ego boost for my DH if a younger girl fancies him (I'd be the same if it was the other way around!) it does not mean he is going to go off and cheat for god sake!

I have zero worries that he would cheat, he's not that guy at all!! He'd be out that door in a heartbeat!!
I felt uncomfortable about it because I don't know this girl from adam & while I know nothing could happen without my DH's consent I just don't like the idea of her thinking there'd even be a chance & that was my problem with him asking her to go on lunchbreak....that he'd be leading her on to think that way.
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Re: Would this bother you?

Postby Grey Alien » Tue May 08, 2022 12:24 pm

Yes, it would definately bother me.
There's a guy I work with who I think fancies me and although it's flattering, I go out of my way to avoid him. The idea of sending out the wrong signals makes me feel uncomfortable and out of respect for my husband and myself, I avoid him when I can.
I think leading someone on is always asking for trouble and where ego is concerned anything can happen. I fully trust my husband but anyone who has any respect for their partner will not deliberately place themselves (repeatedly) in situations where temptation could creep in (we are all human after all).
Sorry, if that's not what you want to hear but that's the way I think it is.
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