What Do You Think Of This Idea??

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:34 am

Myself and OH were discussing wedding plans, and with only 3 months to go, we've changed EVERYTHING! And now part of me is terrified that people will hate the idea!!

What we're planning is an Afternoon Tea Reception... very old-world, elegant, romantic, vintage style theme running through it... We've found a beautiful, Victorian house to host it, and are going to serve really dainty and tiny, bite-sized finger sandwiches, scones, cakes, french macaroons, miniature apple pies, homemade shortbread biscuits, individual handmade mousses in small glasses, with a range of teas, coffee, pink champagne, homemade elderflower lemonade, Pimms and Fruit Punch. With a cheese tower as a wedding cake - we love cheese PLUS I thought people might be sick of cake by the time it came around!

We're going to have a couple of dances - most likely waltzes - eg. first dance, father-daughter dance, the main speeches etc. with everything finishing up by 7/7:30ish... at which stage OH and I are planning to go to Patrick Guilbauds in the Merrion, and have a romantic dinner for 2...

My question is this, though, do you think people will feel a bit underwhelmed by it all, and a bit peeved that there's no sit-down meal and night full of drinking/dancing... Is it a reception you'd like to go to?? MIL has already made it VERY clear she hates the idea and is just short of being embarrassed by it all... and then my mom and people she has told have said things like, it's a charming idea, and absolutely lovely...

I know it's different, but is it too different??? :-/

fizzgig · by **fizzgig** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:39 am

I think its a lovely idea, and i would love to be a guest.
I think you might find it difficult to pull yourself away, once people start having the craic ?
I know i would, especially in Ireland, where things normally kick off at 7.30.

babydust2012 · by **babydust2012** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:42 am

I think its a lovely idea and would love to be a guest. If you wanted to make sure people weren't underwhelmed by the whole thing I would make it be known from the outset that its not a traditional wedding with meal etc... because people may feel a bit miffed if they are hungry as fizzgig said if you leave at 7.30 you may find it difficult to do that.

highbeam · by **highbeam** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:46 am

I think it sounds lovely and if its what you want then Id go for it. I would somehow make it clear on the invitation that it is an afternoon tea with dancing and it will be finishing earlier than what people are used to. Will people be travelling, having to book hotels? Just consider how it will work for your guests. There aren't many chances in life to have everyone you love altogether, are you sure you will want to leave at 7 to head off on your own? You are bound to come in for criticism from some as you are stepping away from the norm so you might need to develop a thick skin till people get used to the idea, but f€ck it, it's your wedding, do what you want.

ciaraella · by **ciaraella** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:48 am

The bottom line is for your wedding you should do what you want to do.
My 'snag' list would be
- will you want to leave your guests that evening
- will people be able to get a pint/vodka/wine etc
- will there be something in the way of a substantial meal for guests, if the wedding is early in the day and will continue til 7.30ish then i think there would need to be csome kind of meal, otherwise you could find that alot of your guests may disappear to the nearest bar or take away!

If these things don't bother you then fair enough but they would be the things that i'd be thinking of and that i know would come up for my family and friends

Meggi · by **Meggi** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:49 am

I think it sounds fab. I would love to go to a wedding like that. I'd just wonder what happens to the guests at 7/7:30 when you guys head off? Can they stay in the venue for the rest of the night having a few drinks and dancing or does everything finish up when you leave? If so I'd wouldn't like that aspect as a guest. Plus if they stay on do you provide some additional food later on in the night? As a guest I'd like the party to continue on rather than just finish up when the bride and groom leave. You would have to make if very clear on the invitations if that was the case.

lollisue · by **lollisue** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:57 am

Agree with the other comments, it's a nice idea but you need to make it clear to your guests, particularly the part about it finishing around 7.30. I also think you might find it a bit of anti climax to head off on your own after all the excitement.

Couple of other things:
- You need to make sure there is enough food to last people for a day. I'm not sure what time your ceremony is at but they'll likely be skipping lunch & dinner to be there so you need to have fairly substantial food. A lot of the things you mention are quite sweet, you need to make sure there are enough savoury foods also.
- Dancing etc at 6 or 7 in the evening is quite early, especially if it's still bright out. In my experience, people generally need a few drinks before they dance so you might need to think about how you would set the mood for that. Or if you are just planning on dancing yourself rather than guests dancing, you also need to think about setting the mood for that.

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:04 am

*deleted*

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:11 am

Having the ceremony at 2, which gives people time to have lunch beforehand...the venue is fifteen minutes from the church, and basically, there are going to to be finger sandwiches and canapés kept coming, LOTS of cocktail sausages baked in honey and mustard, on top of 4 different types of cakes, plain scones, fruit scones, french macaroons, shortbread biscuits, miniature apple pies, individual chocolate-orange mousses, chocolate covered strawberries, fresh berries, then the "cheese" cake tower, served with crackers, grapes, chutnies etc. There definitely will be more than enough that people won't be hungry!

We will be putting on the invitation that it is an afternoon tea reception, finishing up at 7, so guests will be aware beforehand of what to expect!

As for the dancing, there will be a couple of the traditional dances, not a whole dancefloor and DJ and let loose!

As for an anticlimax for us, OH hasn't been to Guilbauds, so it's going to make it really special - we're kinda foodies (!!!) and I think having wind-down time alone with a romantic dinner and lots of yummy wine and champagne is the perfect end to the night for us!!

highbeam · by **highbeam** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:14 am

Sounds like it is exactly what you want and have thought it through. I'd be in food heaven munching on all of that, you certainly couldn't go hungry. I would go for it. Just tell the inlaws this is what you are doing and it's not up for negotiation and they just have to accept it.

fizzgig · by **fizzgig** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:20 am

Plus, would i be right in saying that this would be the time most weddings finish up say in America and such ? It only us Irish that like to get bladdered into the early hours of the morning. Might cause a few raised eye brows, but the day sounds fantastic.
Less expense on the guests also, no over night hotels required and people could just drive home.

What time do you want us over for those honey glazed sausages ?

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:21 am

We kinda have Highbeam... I suppose I just wanted some sort of clarification that it was a nice idea for guests as well...

We have a number of elderly guests attending so that was a factor we wanted to consider also...that it would be a type of event that they would enjoy and feel comfortable attending, as opposed to a very late night with loud music!

I think so long as guests know beforehand what to expect, which they will, that there is enough food, which there will be, and that it is well thought out and executed, which it will be, with lots of pretty and thoughtful details throughout the day, it will be memorable and special... :-)

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:25 am

LOL Fizzgig! Love it! Around 3:30 would be great! Yeh, in other countries, they generally finish up relatively early.. it's actually, if you want to be precise, more traditional to do it this way, as back in the day, a "wedding breakfast" was held, wherein there was a short reception after the church, and the bride and groom left straight after to go on their honeymoon... :-D

MLeFleuffe · by **MLeFleuffe** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:29 am

Sounds really pretty, cool and different and the main thing....exactly what you both want! It will be a day to remember anyway and sure if your guests want to keep the party going they can go off on their own. You will have a lovely wedding. Best of luck.

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 9:47 am

Oh thanks MleFleuffe, I really hope it is nice and that we don't get too much criticsim!! :-)

Who is online