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distressed and very upset, my cheif bridesmaid rang today to tell me she cant make my wedding abroad in 6 weeks time as her IVF treatment is starting then...terribly upset, no stand in....what do you do???

Oh no, sorry to hear this.

It's upsetting and a pain so close to the wedding. But look, IVF treatment has to be timed specifically you know? She could have been on a list for months for this or shelling out a fortune for it. It may be her only chance to have a baby. She might have no choice but to go for the appointment she was given.

So while I acknowledge how disappointed and upset you are, I think you'll have to cut her some slack.

Do you have any other bridesmaids? Could you bump one of them up to chief bridesmaid?

I'm sure you have a friend/sister/cousin/someone who can step in for you if you explain the situation? Your fiance's sister even?

Honestly if you cant find anyone then leave it as it is no rules to say they have to be even.

me julie wrote:Honestly if you cant find anyone then leave it as it is no rules to say they have to be even.

+ 1 I don't think its something you need to have, as Smiley said just bump one of your other BMs (if you have others) up to chief?

If you don't have other BM then you will need to assign the job to someone else as they will need to sign the register.

I feel so sorry for your friend, its obviously not an easy thing to tell someone with so little time to the wedding but cut her some slack, she's going through enough at the moment.

Smileykaz wrote:Do you have any other bridesmaids? Could you bump one of them up to chief bridesmaid?

I agree with this. DH's best man rang the night before our wedding to say he wasn't coming but one of DH's groomsmen stepped in and did a great job. Do you have a friend or relative that could step in?

IVF has to be timed perfectly. Your friend could have been waiting a long time on this and it is her chance to have a baby so don't be upset with her.

Thats a bit crap for you but there is no point in getting too upset about it - this is too important for your BM to miss out on and her chance for IVF has to come first.

Hopefully you can find a replacement if she is your only BM.

+1 to what everyone has said. The main thing if you have registered the marriage and put her down as one of your witnesses, would be to contact the registration office and let them know who the new witness is to avoid any issues. x

The twisted cynic in me wonders did Tans2012 post this thread in the hope we would say bold chiefbridsmid. Did she not know better

Ah you poor thing of course you are upset and very disappointed that is only natural especially as you have just found out. It's very, very difficult when somebody you are obviously so close to can't make your wedding but you should find it comforting that it is for a very valid reason. I'm sure your friend is ver upset too. I'm sure you will find a replacement and all the practical things will fall into place and while I am sure you will miss her on the day it won't be half as much as you expect it to be right now as you will be sooo busy really it is about you and your H2B. Good luck

Best of your luck to your CBM. I hope all goes well for her.... As for needing even numbers in the bridal party, you don't. Don't fret about it. How fabulous that your wedding is coming up and your bestfriend in the whole world is getting her long awaited chance at IVF. Ye both have wonderful milestones coming up and eventhough she can't be there physically on the day, she will be in spirit. Look on the bright side. No one else will pay any heed or even notice one less BM... It's all good.