My mother doesn't like my dress!!

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Sat May 12, 2022 11:42 am

Hi everyone , I just joined and need some advice. I'm totally stressed. I spent a considerable amount of time choosing my wedding dress, it arrived this week and I love it.This is it.
http://www.wedding-dresses.ie/product-p/232.htm . The thing is my mother doesn't like it. It's not what she said , its what she didnt say. Suppose I know my mam well at this stage and know her reactions to things. Should I care? Should I get another dress?Wedding is in December so I could get a different one.... Am I over reacting?

lolly2010 · by **lolly2010** » Sat May 12, 2022 12:04 pm

I

it!! its gorgeous.

No i dont think you should get another dress, you picked this dress for a reason, its your dress, and it not nice if your mam doesnt like it BUT it doesnt matter, one thing i learned about planning a wedding is that we wont please everyone, so once you and your h2b are happy then thats enough. I had my hair trial the other day and i loved the way she done my hair, i was like "o yeah, this is MY hairstyle" came home and mam said "o no its awful,very severe very old fashioned" yeah it p'd me off but im not changing my mind, i like it and thats what matters.

I think your dress is beautiful as im sure you will be when your wearing it! Just keep thinking you picked it for a reason x

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Sat May 12, 2022 12:08 pm

Thanks lolly. I don't know maybe I am over reacting. your right though, but you know how mothers are!!! Dreading the my hair trials if she is reacting this way to my dress. Your right though it is hard to keep everyone happy. Thanks again lolly ps Im sure your hair was was amazing

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Sat May 12, 2022 12:09 pm

Ruth, your Mam won't be wearing the dress, you will. I was terrified that my Mum wouldn't like mine either, but she herself said to me, even when I was asking advice before I picked it, "sure it's not me that'll be wearing it". Mother or not, everyone has different tastes, and believe me, when your Mam sees you on your wedding day, all dolled up and about to walk up the aisle and marry the man you love, she's not going to be thinking about whether or not she'd have picked that dress. Relax and enjoy your planning, if you love it and you're happy with it then don't be worrying about what anyone else thinks. If it'd make you feel better to get it off your chest, even say to your Mam - 'listen, I know by you that you're not mad on it, but I love it and it's what I want.' No mother in the world could argue with that x :lvs

And you're not over-reacting, it's wedding brain, I almost had a conniption over crystal pins a month ago, so don't stress :o0

x

Nostress · by **Nostress** » Sat May 12, 2022 12:13 pm

I think the dress is lovely, BUT I have never seen you so I have idea it would suit you

Sorry lolly but I disagree

and it not nice if your mam doesnt like it BUT it doesnt matter

What I would want to know is why she doesn't like it.
Does she think it doesn't suit you, is it the material or what?

Once I know why someone doesn't like something it lets me honestly weigh up my options.

If my mum didn't like my dress because it made me look like a bus from behind I would get a second opinion and seriously think about changing it if the second opinion was the same; no matter how much I loved it.
I think mums are the most honest to us and we should listen to them - yes the day is you & H2B but would I couldn't not know why she doesn't like it.

flor · by **flor** » Sat May 12, 2022 1:48 pm

Going by the picture, I would say beautiful dress!

I agree with what everyone has said above - you are ultimately the wearer and if you love it, that's what counts; BUT I think this conclusion would apply after I had found out why it was that my mum/sister/fill in the blank didn't like it.

If it was just a matter of it not being to their personal taste, well then OK I'd just go with what was to your taste, but if it was a matter of something not being the most flattering fit possible etc. then I would have to consider what they were saying and take another look at the fit etc.

If it's a case your dress just isn't to their taste, well, i have a little personal experience to share that might be of some help - when my 'little' sister was getting married and the two of us were dress hunting for her, I have to say, when she tried on 'her' dress initially, I was a little underwhelmed. We had tried on other dresses before and one of them she tried on gave me the whole teary eyed thing. Unfortunately (or so i thought at the time), that dress was out of her budget & she decided to keep looking. When she found 'her' dress, it was much, much simpler, not a very typical wedding dress and i just felt it didn't move me in the same way, but she loved it and bought it together with a matching veil (another source of mixed opinions from others before the big day). Come the wedding day, however, with her hair & makeup done & her flowers and her happy radiant glow, I thought she looked like an angel and that her dress couldn't have been more perfect for her. And i did get the whole teary-eyed thing again! x

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Sat May 12, 2022 2:37 pm

Thanks for all the advice. The problem is that it is figure hugging and she would have preferred a fuller dress. Her opinion is important to me. She says she loves the dress but she didnt realise it would be so figure hugging. I got that out of her an hour ago!!! I have asked by BM's (sisters) and my best friend what they think? They would be totally straight with me if I looked massive on it. They thought it looked great on me and the fabric was beautiful. Working out in the gym has paid off !!!so I'm told. But still I feel the need to satisfy my mother. What am I like!!!!

flor · by **flor** » Sat May 12, 2022 2:56 pm

well then, i wouldn't worry about it too much. she'll love it on the day. if figure hugging is what suits you, then why would you go with anything else? it's not just body-shape but personality too that suits different styles of dresses.
trumpet style is what suits me - i tried on a full skirted dress (on 2 occasions, just to rule it out :-8

) & both times it looked & felt utterly ridiculous. my friends & the shop assistants said so too. to quote one of them "you look ridiculous, like you're playing dress up" - i couldn't have agreed more :o0

bridereilly · by **bridereilly** » Sat May 12, 2022 10:35 pm

I feel so sorry for you, I'm worrying I'll have the same problem. If you're like me it does mean a lot that your mother approves but if you like it then it must look good, so as one of the other girls said once your hair and make up etc. are done on the day she will be so proud of you. don't stress.

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Sun May 13, 2022 6:33 am

Thanks Flor, I'm sure you appreciated the directness in the long run and your right my personality does suit my dress. Thanks bride reilly, yes it is important to me , very important to me but as everyone is saying it's my day. Yes looking forward to getting the hair done and tried on the dress again last night, and I totally love it as does everyone else except my mother .. build a bridge Ruth!!! Do you think that your mam will be the same? Do you have similar tastes though?

Mamabelle2011 · by **Mamabelle2011** » Sun May 13, 2022 10:03 am

The dress is beautiful, please dont change it if you love it!! My mother didnt like my dress either but i stuck it out and on the day she had to admit it was lovely as i had tan, make up etc done. Sure you know mammies... O:|

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Mon May 14, 2022 7:03 am

Thanks Mama. Really what did she not like? Did it take her long to get over it?

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Mon May 14, 2022 7:22 am

Oh gosh RuthC, I know how you feel! The dress I initially wanted my mum hated. She said it was very princessy and kept showing me pictures of lace column type dresses which I think are soooo pretty but I much prefer A-Line with a bit more of a skirt on me. Anyway with all her unsaid and said comments I kept looking and found one I love a million times more. Its still got a big enough skirt but def not as poufy and surprisingly my mum actually really likes it!! I'm ridiculously influenced by her though!!! But I'm happy now that she likes it and its to my style. Not sure if this helps but I know my mums opinion made me look at first dress differently!

ruthc · by **ruthc** » Mon May 14, 2022 5:40 pm

Thnaks for the advice Ms Future S. I'm glad that you got the dress you like. Yes ,that the problem , I am very influenced by what she thinks, but unfortunately i have come to the conclusion that she is going to have to accept that I love my dress, I feel like princess in it and I am confident that my hubby to be will love it. Ahh well this is one of lifes difficult decisions!!!!

marant · by **marant** » Mon May 14, 2022 6:09 pm

I think it's beautiful, so just go with your instincts on this one and if you're getting your sisters' support, then it should be fine!

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