So, I don't have any kids so perhaps am looking at this from a different perspective, but had this exact conversation with my brother today.

Basically, was out with DH on Saturday, I went home around half 2, and he headed out with the lads to some other bars. Long story short, he ended up home about 3pm on Sunday afternoon. My brother said if he did it, there would be words had (he & his girlfriend were staying with us for the weekend and I think we AMAZED at how nice I was being to him when he came home).

But I was nice. I made him a sandwich, and got him a drink. I did not give him the bollicking that perhaps a lot of others would. In fairness, I probably would be more annoyed if we did have kids, but I've been out of work lately, he's stressed in work and I trust him completely - sometimes he just goes a bit bananas, but he doesn't do it often, usually home in one piece, and is super-respectful of me at all times, so this just isn't a dealbreaker for me. I might LOS on a forum or with my friends, but he just wants to have the craic out of the tear.

OP - understandly you wanted to LOS, and am glad it's all sorted. It's all about balance as far as I'm concerned. You know your OH, you know what is, and what is not acceptable for you both. I think it's pretty horrible that such is the lack of trust that when a guy is out with mates, there must automatically be another woman involved.

MrsDuffy2b wrote:Spare room for at least a week!!!!

DH2b done this alot b4 we got engaged...... i used to get soooo angry soooooo i done it bk once and he stayed up all night waiting on me.....
he was really really upset when i got home at 9 the next morning, apparently he didnt realise how upsetting it was....

I done it in complete badness i had change of clothes in friends house 1mile away where i had planned on staying....

i felt great to get my own bk cuz my mind used to go ninety when he didnt cum home!!!

But all good now!!!!

My Oh has a bloody habit of doing it too. I used to freak! And always said he wouldn't like it if I did it on him.... he denies it saying it wouldn't bother him but I know it would. If he does it on me again I'll defo get my own back!

OP, I know my OH wan't up to anything with any other girl. He can hardly text on a good day never mind after 10 pints!! My mind used to be going 90 thinking he was in a&e somewhere! I've been there, thankfully he hasn't done it in a while but boys will be boys! Only you know what your relationship is like so just take peoples comments with a pinch of salt.

I hope you gave him hell though for leaving you with 2 kiddies all night! I'd kick his ass

excitedlady wrote:

MrsDuffy2b wrote:Spare room for at least a week!!!!

DH2b done this alot b4 we got engaged...... i used to get soooo angry soooooo i done it bk once and he stayed up all night waiting on me.....
he was really really upset when i got home at 9 the next morning, apparently he didnt realise how upsetting it was....

I done it in complete badness i had change of clothes in friends house 1mile away where i had planned on staying....

i felt great to get my own bk cuz my mind used to go ninety when he didnt cum home!!!

But all good now!!!!

My Oh has a bloody habit of doing it too. I used to freak! And always said he wouldn't like it if I did it on him.... he denies it saying it wouldn't bother him but I know it would. If he does it on me again I'll defo get my own back!

OP, I know my OH wan't up to anything with any other girl. He can hardly text on a good day never mind after 10 pints!! My mind used to be going 90 thinking he was in a&e somewhere! I've been there, thankfully he hasn't done it in a while but boys will be boys! Only you know what your relationship is like so just take peoples comments with a pinch of salt.

I hope you gave him hell though for leaving you with 2 kiddies all night! I'd kick his ass

OMG i used to b like that I used to stay awake till he would come home for fear he was in a&e and surprise surprise he did end up in a&e!!!! H2b is the same not great at the texting at the best of times.... when he goes out now for a few with his friends i do NOT text him once as a point... BUT when i go out, "well many about", "whos all there", "will u be home soon", "will u take me home something"..... i laugh my head off

hi hon

god its really hard to tell you what to do. nice to read someone else problem.

My advise for you is to stay calm. write down every thing you really want to say and give it to him. in a day or so. Sit him down and calmly explain your side. what you did while he was out. Tell him you want him by our side as your partner.

Why cant ye both go out together. Next time he is going out. Tell him your coming and ask him to book a sitter. why you go and get your self ready.

Did the child have to go to the doctor. Talking is the key and not shouting or seeing green we'll all been green.

im getting married in 14 days time and ive just lost my job today. I had to ring my partner and break the news to him. and I have to wait for him to finish work before we can talk.

Ok, fair enough, i take back what i said about the 'lynch mob' but seriously girls try to be a bit more sensitive!

It is one thing to tell the OP to 'give him hell' and that she shouldn't stand for it, but to blatently tell her that he is definitely sleeping with someone else shows incredible insensitivity!
I can't imagine you being so quick to say that to your sister or friends face directly.

Anyway, the OP has said she has sorted things out now, which I am glad to hear. Also, it is nice to see that in some of the more recent posts there are wollies who are more sympathetic.

candlequeen wrote:Mother of God. OP you can't expect to start with an opening post like that and then spit at people for assuming the worst. You made us assume the worst.


Wake up, OP, he's taking the p!ss big time and if you thought anything of yourself or your kids you'd give him a bloody eating instead of giving out about him here and then defending him when people ask legitimate questions.

I think I really need to be very clear here. I thought I had been clear earlier but obviously not...
I was quite offended and upset by what some other posters said. I don't recall any legitimate questions except one about my DD, which was much more recent - she's fine by the way and thanks for asking.
As I have already said opinions are fine. What I took issue with is where people stated as fact that my H2B was lying to me and cheating on me. It was also implied that I was a walk-over and didn't confront him on the issue and was even told that I should reconsider marrying him!. The original post was written in anger (totally repeating myself now) and I didn't put in everything just the bits that were really p*ssing me off - won't be doing that in future! I did post that we had sorted the issue out between us and I didn't give any detail. Maybe you're assuming I didn't confront him? I did and the issue was sorted. Surly the outcome is more important than the method. We're both adults and talked it out.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has had to deal with it. It's great that you and your DH have sorted it out in a way that worked for you.

Thanks to all the other girls who shared their own personal experiences.

Gasher26 wrote:Ok, fair enough, i take back what i said about the 'lynch mob' but seriously girls try to be a bit more sensitive!

It is one thing to tell the OP to 'give him hell' and that she shouldn't stand for it, but to blatently tell her that he is definitely sleeping with someone else shows incredible insensitivity!
I can't imagine you being so quick to say that to your sister or friends face directly.

Anyway, the OP has said she has sorted things out now, which I am glad to hear. Also, it is nice to see that in some of the more recent posts there are wollies who are more sympathetic.

+1!
especially this part:
"I can't imagine you being so quick to say that to your sister or friends face directly."

lolabelle wrote: Like my ex with his "my friend gave me this hickey because he thought it would be funny ......"

Really sorry for interrupting this pretty serious thread, and Lola I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but OH MY GOD that is the most random, shocking, horrifying, God damn HILARIOUS thing I have ever read. I am caught between gales of laughter and open-mouthed shock at the cheek of your ex. How - HOW - can he have thought that was a good excuse?!

To the OP - I am another one who thinks your OH was utterly, utterly out of line. I would not have accepted him showing up without so much as a hello after being missing for that long.

Look WHATEVER he was up to (and I have to say I didn't jump to "off with some floozie" myself, I just thought "lads being pigs" TBH) it is absolutely not on. If my OH had done that to me, he would have come home to an empty house and changed locks.

It is just so disrespectful. I wouldn't stand for it, and I wouldn't stand for him not acknowledging it, and I wouldn't stand for him not sitting down with you and listening to your side of the story - and swearing never to do it again, and most importantly never ever doing it again.

It would be a deal-breaker for me.

cabbagehead wrote:

lolabelle wrote: Like my ex with his "my friend gave me this hickey because he thought it would be funny ......"

Really sorry for interrupting this pretty serious thread, and Lola I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but OH MY GOD that is the most random, shocking, horrifying, God damn HILARIOUS thing I have ever read. I am caught between gales of laughter and open-mouthed shock at the cheek of your ex. How - HOW - can he have thought that was a good excuse?!

I firmly believe he was slipping drugs in my cuppa because there is no way on earth I was stupid enough to actually choose to be with him lol. He was dumped fairly swiftly. Eejit like him.

TBH I'd go mad if OH didn't come home and didn't make contact until the next afternoon.

My problem is stopping him from phoning when he is out for the night and isn't come home - 4am rabbles on the mobile cos he fancies phoning for a chat or is lost and wants me to tell him where he is please......

CarolinaMoon wrote:TBH I'd go mad if OH didn't come home and didn't make contact until the next afternoon.

My problem is stopping him from phoning when he is out for the night and isn't come home - 4am rabbles on the mobile cos he fancies phoning for a chat or is lost and wants me to tell him where he is please......

i get that too, i do be begging him to stop texting me he loves me because his mates will give him stick for being on the phone all night, or he will call me from the taxi and ask me to put the kettle on.... longgggggggggggggg may it last id kill him if he had the cheek to stay out all night ive enough friends who do that and i know exactly what they are up to and y they dont go home!!

lolabelle wrote:

cabbagehead wrote:

lolabelle wrote: Like my ex with his "my friend gave me this hickey because he thought it would be funny ......"

Really sorry for interrupting this pretty serious thread, and Lola I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but OH MY GOD that is the most random, shocking, horrifying, God damn HILARIOUS thing I have ever read. I am caught between gales of laughter and open-mouthed shock at the cheek of your ex. How - HOW - can he have thought that was a good excuse?!

I firmly believe he was slipping drugs in my cuppa because there is no way on earth I was stupid enough to actually choose to be with him lol. He was dumped fairly swiftly. Eejit like him.

Girls this actually happened to me one night- I swear to God. I was in my home village and DH (not DH at the time) was not down with me. Anyway it was Christmas eve and I bumped into a guy I hadn't seen in ages. He had a few in him and when he saw me he got a bit excited and grabbed me and dipped me downwards (IFKWIM) and gave me a hickey!!! He thought that this was hilarious. I nearly killed him. He was only giving it to me for a second (in case you think I let him smooch away there for hours) but I bruise easily and it looked like a hickey. Had to explain it to DH....... Luckily he trusts me and also knows my feelings on hickeys (flipping hate them!!) and believed my story but I'm not sure everyone would!!!

Anywho, re the overnight issue, it wouldn't be a trust problem for me. I would expect that if it happened that he was just drunk and it was easier to fall asleep on someones couch than get his ass into a taxi but to not call and tell me where he is not acceptable. It's a matter of respect.

CC2b2012 wrote:

candlequeen wrote:Mother of God. OP you can't expect to start with an opening post like that and then spit at people for assuming the worst. You made us assume the worst.


Wake up, OP, he's taking the p!ss big time and if you thought anything of yourself or your kids you'd give him a bloody eating instead of giving out about him here and then defending him when people ask legitimate questions.

I think I really need to be very clear here. I thought I had been clear earlier but obviously not...
I was quite offended and upset by what some other posters said. I don't recall any legitimate questions except one about my DD, which was much more recent - she's fine by the way and thanks for asking.
As I have already said opinions are fine. What I took issue with is where people stated as fact that my H2B was lying to me and cheating on me. It was also implied that I was a walk-over and didn't confront him on the issue and was even told that I should reconsider marrying him!. The original post was written in anger (totally repeating myself now) and I didn't put in everything just the bits that were really p*ssing me off - won't be doing that in future! I did post that we had sorted the issue out between us and I didn't give any detail. Maybe you're assuming I didn't confront him? I did and the issue was sorted. Surly the outcome is more important than the method. We're both adults and talked it out.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has had to deal with it. It's great that you and your DH have sorted it out in a way that worked for you.

Thanks to all the other girls who shared their own personal experiences.

D'ya know what riled me, when I read your original post I felt EXACTLY how I felt those 6 years ago when the same craic went on here. I do apologise if I came across as harsh or b!tchy, I didn't mean to make you feel worse than you did already. I'm glad you talked it over and I hope he has seen sense. You can't deny that it IS taking the mickey for one parent to do that while the other is at home alone. Heck, parent or not, it's still outrageous. Anyway, you sorted it, best of luck to the two of you from here on out, and I'm glad your DD is okay. Even though I didn't say that the first time around as you so rightly pointed out.

ReginaFalange wrote:

cabbagehead wrote:Really sorry for interrupting this pretty serious thread, and Lola I'm really sorry for what happened to you, but OH MY GOD that is the most random, shocking, horrifying, God damn HILARIOUS thing I have ever read. I am caught between gales of laughter and open-mouthed shock at the cheek of your ex. How - HOW - can he have thought that was a good excuse?!

Girls this actually happened to me one night- I swear to God. I was in my home village and DH (not DH at the time) was not down with me. Anyway it was Christmas eve and I bumped into a guy I hadn't seen in ages. He had a few in him and when he saw me he got a bit excited and grabbed me and dipped me downwards (IFKWIM) and gave me a hickey!!! He thought that this was hilarious. I nearly killed him. He was only giving it to me for a second (in case you think I let him smooch away there for hours) but I bruise easily and it looked like a hickey. Had to explain it to DH....... Luckily he trusts me and also knows my feelings on hickeys (flipping hate them!!) and believed my story but I'm not sure everyone would!!!

NO WAY That's so WEIRD that he did that, bleurrrrrgh I'd have smacked him!

Hmmm Lola, that puts things in a new light now eh? Regrets?

The walking by and going straight into the house thing - maybe he did that because he thought he might get a load of hassle and didn't fancy it. I'm not saying that was the right thing to do but just saying there might be another reason for him doing this other than "he's cheating".

Staying up to watch the sunset - That certainly raised my eyebrows a bit... I know if my OH said that to me, I'd be suspicious but maybe the OPs husband is more of a sensitive soul?!