Fed up with wedding planning!

McLisa · by **McLisa** » Sun Apr 08, 2022 11:37 pm

With just under 5 months to go I've hit a wall, I'm so fed up with the planning I feel like I'm doing everything by myself. I live two hours away from family and two of my sisters who are bridesmaids. My other bridesmaid is H2B sister but she's also chief bridesmaid to H2B other sister who is getting married in 10 weeks and is very wrapped up in that.

We're getting married abroad and it's a logistical nightmare and if one more person says to me 'sure you have a wedding planner what have you to do' I will scream. Just finished moving house and trying to organise hen, bridesmaids have been useless. I tried to keep everything as cheap as possible as im so conscious of amount people are spending to go to wedding abroad. So I found a house which works out at €33 per person per night, cheapest I could find after much searching and I asked would mind doing cocktail class on one of the nights, basically guy comes to house, shows how to make cocktails, have few competitions etc and get about 5 cocktails each for £30 per person and my sister had the cheek to say that's a bit expensive for what you get O:|

H2B is showing zero interest at mo, all his attention of soley on his stag. My family wouldn't be well off and money is tight and his best men know this yet they've organised all singing all dancing no expense spared stag 4 hours away and here I am panicking and worrying about girls paying £30 for a cocktail class. Said to him we'll need to go get wedding rings sorted on tuesday on his day off as we have no other free time and her basically rolled his eyes as it meant he couldn't play golf. Now I know he works super hard to provide the money to pay for this wedding and he deserves time off but stop making it sound like such a chore!

Just feel like I'm so alone in all the planning, have no one around me to help, feel like I have million and one things to do and my bridesmaids are either useless or live too far away or both. I feel like whole shine and excitement has gone and I just want it over and done with now...anyone else feel/felt like this?

morningsun · by **morningsun** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 12:11 am

em not really sure what you want your bridesmaids to do but I think if u decide to get married you should be prepared to organise your own wedding maybe apart from hen although i made all initial arrangements for mine myself. What do u want your bridesmaids to do? Your OH should obviously be more involved though.
I've not gotten sick of wedding planning to answer your question but don't expect anyone to do anything for me

by **SimoneP** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 8:00 am

Hi Lisa

Totally fed up with wedding planning too. I've less time to go than you so its not as bad now but I was fed up at 5 months to go too.

It is a stressful time and I'm sure you're on the go all the time but try to take a weekend off if you can and maybe do something nice with your OH. It may seem like he has no interest but try not to be over sensitive- I know that I am at times but i think its due to stress. I'm sorry for generalising but alot of men don't think about the little details that are probably constantly running around in your head.

With regards to brdiesmaids, mine are very far away too but they have been great. Like Morningsun has said I didn't expect them to do much and as they are so far away I don't want them spending money on travel etc or having to take whole weekends out of their lives to help me out.

You'll get there eventually Lisa!

PT2012 · by **PT2012** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 10:39 am

I tend to agree with morningsun.
I organised everything myself as to be honest I rather doing things my own way with as little interference as possible as others have their own ideas and might try to force them.
I even organised the hen and stag but wouldn't have had it any other way to be honest.

This forum is great for help and ideas so talk away here about it

and try to enjoy it all.
It will be over before you know it.

islandlil · by **islandlil** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 5:22 pm

Give the OP a break-It's called let off steam and that's what she is doing.
She is not demanding anyone else pla her wedding, she is expressing frustration at how much work there is and how non one is giving her a hand.

I didn't expect my BMs to do much but yes they should at least help with the hen IMO. And it's nice when people take an interest and at least offer to help or offer suggestions, etc. The OH should show a bit more enthusiasm. A wedding is between two people afterall. Hope you feel a bit better OP. We all had moments where we were sick of wedding planning. There is a lot of work involved!

IMO your hen is v cheap. Ignore those comments about the cocktail class. For some people getting something for free is too expensive. Just go ahead and enjoy it. People don;t have to participate if they don't want to. :o)ll

Mustang Sally · by **Mustang Sally** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 5:55 pm

Hi OP,
Sounds like you need a break. I had one or two phases like that too where I got totally fed up with planning and felt like nobody gave a s&(te about the wedding except me. You have loads of time left so why not take a week or even two weeks off from planning.

Your hen sounds super cheap and if anyone else says its too expensive then tell them "well that's the best offer I could find but you're more than welcome to look into it yourself and come up with another suggestion" :compress

And P.S. most brides I know said their h2b was useless with getting involved, mine included :duh:

he's getting better now tho

McLisa · by **McLisa** » Tue Apr 10, 2022 5:12 pm

thanks so much girls, feeling a bit better about it now, I in no way want anyone to plan my wedding for me it just sometimes feels like i'm all on my own with it and have no one to chatter away to about it, I know if i lived near my mum and sisters i would but when i ask H2B sometimes he looks totally confused about it all. Have to say he must have been reading my vibes (or WOL :o0

) and actually helped me with the invites the other night :o)ll

I think i was probably a bit jealous of H2B too as his grooms men came around last wk with his stag totally planned for him down to every last detail, spreadsheets of costs, the whole works and i cant even get my girls to come back to me with a date for dress fittings without hounding them. Also doesnt help that H2B is the money one in the relationship and is very aware of wedding spending and i sometimes take that as he has no interest in the wedding except a financial one but i know thats not the case, he just always likes to have rainy day fund and doesnt like us eating into it.

We're going to spain on sat for a week to finalise a few things for wedding, these are only gonna take a day or two max so will have time to chill out hopefully. God when i started all this wedding planning i was adamant i wasnt gonna let it take over my life or get me down and some how it just grips you :o0

thanks again for all your posts O-O

niftythrifty · by **niftythrifty** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 9:19 am

McLisa I am just setting out on my wedding planning now and beginning to realise there is SOOO much involved. I love planning and bargain hunting though so am delighted really.
It's a pain your BMs aren't more of a help- maybe they don't realise that you would like any help though? Sometimes you can think people are being lazy or insensitive but often they just doesn't realise how much we would just like them to help/advise etc

me julie · by **me julie** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 2:49 pm

OP- the bride is left to do everthing themselves. And then when we get stressed we are bridezillas. The Bms should help out with both the wedding and the hen in my opinion. There asked to help the bride and groom and should be there to offer a hand. There is so much to do and I personally think they should be helping. Our best man is deadly have sent him shopping all over the place for stuff as hes in the city and never once has anything been too much same with bms. I know as my sister is seriously ill she would have done hen herself but she couldnt under her circumstances so she got help but by god she did it and I cant wait. All im saying is they should be helping or at least offering to help.

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