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Late AF?

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Re: Late AF?

Postby HippyChic » Wed May 09, 2022 4:36 pm

Luka - have had bloods done and they show that I'm ovulating (as does all my temping and use of OPK's). H2B hasn't had a SA done yet but we're hoping to get it done this month and see how things are there. We're on the waiting list to see a public fertility consultant for about 6 months now (we'll look again at finances and see if we can afford to go private after the wedding). I do know what you mean about trying not to be negative about the pregnancies of others/not knowing what they've gone through. I'm genuinely delighted for the 2 friends I mentioned, almost as happy as I would be for myself, as I know they had such a long road to get to where they are now and they deserve every happiness that they have. I have to admit I do tend to be less happy for the friends with surprise/accidental babies as that just galls me but sure, you can't win them all!

Since we've been trying we've had 9 babies born within our circle of friends and family, and 3 more due by the end of the summer, that's a lot of being happy for people whilst trying to swallow your own pain ya know?

It's great to be able to come one here and talk to other people who are going through the same (well, not great - I'd rather NONE of us were going through this iykwim).

I've noticed more and more people coming into where I work with babies that are obviously adopted (2 white parents - asian baby etc) and last month I had the mother of all meltdowns with H2B about it: roaring crying that I was looking at our future and people would KNOW just by looking at us that we'd been unable to conceive and had adopted. It was a silly attitude to have and once I had my little cry I got over it and started to think more positively about the whole situation. However, and the part I have the most difficulty with, I am adopted myself. It is this fact that turns me off adoption the most as there is a pig-stubborn part of me that thinks it is so unfair that I will never once in my life experience what it is like to have someone with a blood-bond to me if we don't have a child of our own. I have some contact with my biological family now and I have a great relationship with my parents and my brother that I grew up with but I don't know what it's like to have both - someone that is my blood relative and that I have a shared history with, if that makes sense. I know it sounds silly but I do feel the need to experience that connection that 90% of people simply take for granted.

Anyway, jaysus I'm going off on a tangent now altogether so just thanks ladies for being here and being supportive. It sucks that we're all going through this but at least we have somewhere to turn to when it gets too tough in real life. :action32
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Re: Late AF?

Postby Luka » Wed May 09, 2022 5:14 pm

It is hard to take it when alot of other's are having babies. At least you are ovulating & once your H2B has his SA done at least ye can take it from there. I found having my tests was a good thing as I felt more in control & that I was taking charge.
I did, at one point, think we would never have a baby. I was in a very bad place, & was feeling like it would have been better to never have been pregnant at all, than to have seen their heartbeats & then never actually have a child. We agreed when I concieved DS that if it ended as well that that would be it & we weren't going to try again. But we were blessed (even though I drove my DH mad for the 9 months)!

So I can empathise with you on how you feel. I know a few people who are adopted & I can see where you are coming from when you mention a blood bond. Willing you a happy outcome Hippichic, hopefully in 2013 you'll be the mum you so deserve to be. :action32
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Re: Late AF?

Postby reine » Wed May 09, 2022 5:38 pm

HippyChic, please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel that you may unnecessarily be beating yourself up about not having kids, when the problem could end up being quite easy to resolve. It's REALLY important that your OH has his SA done as soon as possible, if you want to get pregnant soon. For some reason, couples often put off getting the man tested and in something like 45% of the time, the infertility is down to them. If it is because of this, it could just be a case of him taking more zinc/selenium/l-arginine etc. Worst case scenario, his results are quite bad, well you can look at your other options then - iui (costs about 750-850 depending on clinic), ivf, icsi etc. There are a myriad options out there. Please don't lose hope.

You too need to have more investigations done including a SIS to check your tubes, for endo, for cysts, to check your follicle count and an amh test to check your ovarian reserve. I'm sure all of this can be done publicly when you have your consultation, but if you're in a real hurry and have health insurance (particularly with Quinn) much of this is covered.

The very best of luck. I've been at this for years, so I know all the tests now, ha. If you need any help/advice don't hesitate to say.
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Re: Late AF?

Postby HippyChic » Wed May 09, 2022 6:49 pm

Luka - I guess that's where I am right now - the "it's never going to happen is it?" stage. I suppose it's my way of trying not to get upset every single time I get AF by resigning myself to the idea that it's not meant to happen. In a few months time I'll probably be all enthusiastic again but the last few months have really knocked the wind out of my sails.

Reine - you're right that I am being hard on myself. It's a personality flaw of mine, I absolutely HATE not being able to do things/not doing things well. I am a perfectionist and that makes trouble TTC very frustrating! I know I have to get on to H2B about his SA, he's been really busy of late so we've let it slide but you're dead right, at least it would give us more information one way or another. As much as I'd love to get the other tests you mentioned done ASAP we'll stick with waiting for a public appointment for now, simply because we're trying to save for a wedding (though now at the point of trying to cut costs back and possibly bring the date forward).

On that note: does anyone know how long the wait for CUH public fertility consultation currently is? We were put on the list at Christmas so going on 6 months waiting now!
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