Here are some tips, hints and literature that may help:
INTER-CHURCH MARRIAGE
Church of Ireland/Roman Catholic
Planning the wedding
It is recommended that both clergy should be consulted at an early stage. The wedding can take place in either church. Once the church has been chosen the actual ceremony and the administration of the vows can, for legal reasons, only be performed by the clergy of that church according to the rites and ceremonies of that church. If it is desired and agreed, the clergy of the other denomination can be invited to assist with prayers and readings.
If the wedding is to be in a Roman Catholic church it need not be a nuptial mass - in fact many couples prefer that it should not be. This way the Church of Ireland clergy are free to take a fuller part in the ceremony and Church of Ireland relatives are free from any eucharistic restrictions. Discuss your plans with both clergy.
Relations with the Other Church
Interchurch couples often find that one or both are taking an active and meaningful part in the activities of the other church. With the arrival of your own family you may wish to attend both denominations as a family unit so that your children will have a knowledge and awareness of both traditions.
Both churches are trying to provide joint pastoral care for interchurch couples, and the Irish Council of Churches has produced a booklet Ministering to Interchurch Couples which you will find helpful.
In your marriage you as a couple can often find a unity in your primary church, the home, a unity which the churches themselves are still striving to achieve.
Sharing Communion
While the Church of Ireland welcomes at Holy Communion communicants of another denominations whose conscience allows them to receive, the Roman Catholic Church only permits "Eucharistic sharing" in exceptional circumstances (Directory on Ecumenism 1999 para 209).
Baptism
Baptism is into the Church of Christ and not into any one denomination. A baptism can take place in either church and be recognised by the other. There is a specially designed certificate for Christian Baptism which is recognised by all the churches.
The Religious Upbringing of the Children
As the Roman Catholic Directory on Mixed Marriages (1983) states: this is the joint responsibility of both parents and will depend very much upon your own religious practice. Each parent should be able to share something of their own tradition with their children.
Church of Ireland requirements
Your rector can advise you or browse the Legal Aspects section on the Marriage Matters website (
http://www.marriagematters.ireland.angl ... /legal.asp).
Roman Catholic Canon Law requirements
When a Roman Catholic marries a Protestant certain formal documents are required by the Roman Catholic Church. They are:
(a) Permission to marry a baptised member of another Christian Church.
This is obtained from the bishop through the local parish priest. The priest will want to see the couple beforehand. Roman Catholic Canon Law (Canon 1125) requires him to ensure:
•that the Roman Catholic partner makes the declaration required of all Roman Catholics about the baptism and upbringing of their children (see 'The Promise' below);
•that the Church of Ireland partner is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation upon the Roman Catholic partner;
•that the couple know about the purposes and the essential properties of marriage.
When he is assured that this has been done the priest will apply to the bishop for a Permission. The Church of Ireland partner is not required to sign or agree to anything except to indicate that he/she understands what the Roman Catholic partner has declared.
(b) Dispensation from Canonical Form
This is required when the marriage takes place in a Protestant church, and is obtained from the Roman Catholic bishop. It is not automatically granted, but will be given "for serious pastoral reasons". It has become a common practice in recent years for a Dispensation from Form to be granted to enable a couple to follow the normal custom of marrying in the bride's church. (Although the Permission and Dispensation from Form are not required for the legality of the marriage in a Church of Ireland church, they are necessary to enable the Roman Catholic partner to remain in good standing with his/her church).
The Promise
ALL Roman Catholics, even those marrying another Roman Catholic, are asked the following:
Do you promise to do what you can within the unity of your partnership to have all the children of your marriage baptised and brought up in the Catholic-faith?
In explaining this declaration, the Irish Roman Catholic Bishops' Directory on Mixed Marriages (1983) states how he or she succeeds in practice in the particular marriage depends not only on the Catholic's efforts, but also on the agreement and co-operation of the other partner (7.4) and the religious upbringing of the children is the joint responsibility of both parents. The obligations of the Catholic party do not, and cannot, cancel out, or
in any way call into question, the conscientious duty of the other party. (8.1). At section 8.5 it adds: The actual circumstances of the marriage form the context in which this obligation must be carried out, and these circumstances are bound to vary considerably. The possibility exists that, despite his or her best efforts, the Catholic will be in a situation where some or all of the children are brought up in the denomination of the other party.
Thus there are three possible outcomes for the upbringing of the children: that all are brought up as Roman Catholics, that some are brought up as Roman Catholics or that none are brought up as Roman Catholics. Any decision on this matter is the natural responsibility of the parents and should be made jointly from within the marriage. However, as a couple you should discuss this fully before you marry, resisting undue pressure – from whatever quarter.
Getting Married
a) In whichever church is chosen - the Roman Catholic partner needs to apply for Permission to marry a member of another Church.
b) In a Church of Ireland church - The Roman Catholic Church requires the Roman Catholic partner to apply also for a Dispensation from Canonical Form and the couple need to obtain a licence. (Speak to your rector about this). In all cases attention must be paid to state laws regarding age, affinity, time etc. In the Republic of Ireland all marriages require a minimum of three months notice.
RESOURCES
NIMMA (Northern Ireland Mixed Marriage Association)
28 Bedford Street, Belfast, BT2 7FE
Tel: (028) 9023 5444, E-mail:
[email protected], Website:
www.nimma.org.uk Offer advice and information and produce a booklet entitled "Mixed Marriage in Ireland".
AIF Ireland, (Association of Interchurch Families)
C/o Irish School of Ecumenics, Bea House, Milltown Park, Dublin 6.
Tel: +353 (0) 12601144, Email:
[email protected] Also:
[email protected] International website:
www.interchurchfamilies.org Produce a leaflet of contact names throughout the Republic of Ireland.
Ecumenical Officers
Most Roman Catholic and some Church of Ireland Dioceses have appointed officers to deal with mixed marriage enquiries.
Interchurch Pre -Marriage Courses
EMBRACE (Interchurch Marriage Preparation Group)
39, Harcourt Street, Dublin 2, Tel: (01) 4784400.
They offer a joint marriage preparation course approved by the four main Churches.
Marriage Preparation Courses
Many Church of Ireland dioceses organise Marriage Preparation Courses - your rector will know of these.
ACCORD (Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland)
Accord have specific Courses for Interchurch Marriage and have many branches in Roman Catholic dioceses.
ROI Headquarters: All Hallows, Gracepark Road, Drumcondra, Dublin 9, Tel. (01) 8371151
NI Headquarters: Cana House, 56, Lisburn Road, Belfast BT9 6AF,
Tel. (028) 90233002, Fax: (028) 90328113, Email:
[email protected] Materials Available
"Mixed Marriage in Ireland'- available from NIMMA and AIF.
A booklet dealing with issues such as getting married, going to church, baptism and bringing up children.
"Ministering to Interchurch Couples" - by the Irish Council of Churches.
Available from the Interchurch Centre, 48 Elmwood Avenue, Belfast BT9 6AZ
Tel: (028) 90664424.
A booklet offering guidelines for shared services of marriage and baptism.
"Directory on Marriages" - Irish Episcopal Conference (1983).
The official Roman Catholic Statements on Mixed Marriages. Published by Veritas and available from their Resource Centres and some bookshops.
"One Bread One Body" - published by Catholic Truth Society and Veritas.
A teaching document on the Eucharist and sacramental sharing - by the Roman Catholic bishops of England and Wales, Scotland and Ireland.
"Till Faith Do Us Part - Couples who fall in love across the religious divide” Jonathan A Romain. Published by Fount and available from The Good Bookshop.
A perceptive, honest, and sometimes humorous, survey of inter-racial and inter-faith marriages.
