The best letter you'll never send

niftythrifty · by **niftythrifty** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 2:25 pm

Hi ladies
I saw this idea somewhere else where you write a letter to a person who has annoyed or frustrated you. You don't ever send this letter but it is a good way to get the rant off your chest and to feel better about the whole situation (hopefully)!
So here are a couple of mine

Dear Cat
Please stop trying to come inside the house. I have never let you in and will never let you in. Why can you not just learn from past experience and just be happy to stay outside
Sincerely
Your minder

Dear friend
Please don't be so flash with your cash. The rest of us cannot afford the luxuries you go on about and although we are very happy for you, it makes us incredibly awkward when you talk about really expensive clothes you have bought or holidays planned. I don't think you have ever had to scrimp and save for anything...grrrr!
Your ever loving (but just somewhat jealous) friend

lovebnmrsg · by **lovebnmrsg** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 9:44 am

Dear ex-best friend,
You are a b1tch, short and simple. You asked me once upon a tine to tell you if you ever started to behave like your mother, well you are as selfish and attention seeking as she is. You are spoiled and whinge like a child. Oh and don't think I dint know what you've been saying about me, people arent as loyal to you as you think. Lying two faced cow

Love lovebnmrsg xx

cirquedesoliel · by **cirquedesoliel** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 9:59 am

i'll have a piece of this!

Dear Socalled best friend!
Im delighted that you are Pregnant but seriously stop pretending you are the first woman in the history of mankind to ever be pregnant! stop telling everyone and anyone that getting pregnant was an accident! do you want your child growing up knowing it was a whoopsie daisy! and as for the freak that impregnated you ! YOU ARE NOT THAT special that he can ring the scan unit to look for an earlier scan appointment JUST COZ he is the father!

love you loads
CDS

Dear returned friend from Australia
you are back 3 weeks you do not have jet lag so stop falling asleep over lunch and letting your mind wander off! you're not as sophistcated as you think or let on to be!

trying hard to love you.
CDS

DEAR Cirquedesoliel

you are a fantastic person with the patience of a saint! hang in there! all these stupid people will return to their own planets and peace will be restored!! chin up !

LOVE YOU

Cirquedesoliel

April13 · by **April13** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 10:46 am

cirquedesoliel wrote:i'll have a piece of this!

Dear Socalled best friend!
Im delighted that you are Pregnant but seriously stop pretending you are the first woman in the history of mankind to ever be pregnant! stop telling everyone and anyone that getting pregnant was an accident! do you want your child growing up knowing it was a whoopsie daisy! and as for the freak that impregnated you ! YOU ARE NOT THAT special that he can ring the scan unit to look for an earlier scan appointment JUST COZ he is the father!

love you loads
CDS

Dear returned friend from Australia
you are back 3 weeks you do not have jet lag so stop falling asleep over lunch and letting your mind wander off! you're not as sophistcated as you think or let on to be!

trying hard to love you.
CDS

DEAR Cirquedesoliel

you are a fantastic person with the patience of a saint! hang in there! all these stupid people will return to their own planets and peace will be restored!! chin up !

LOVE YOU

Cirquedesoliel

Lol!!!!!

I enjoyed that last one!!!!!! I believe u are right about this one!!! :0

by **fizzyduck** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 10:51 am

Dear SILs

Stop fighting with each other over petty crap. Also when an olive branch is offered learn to accept it graciously and stop acting like teenagers.

Love

Fizzyduck

corkiegirl · by **corkiegirl** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 11:54 am

Dear ex-friend,

Stop telling me that the weight just falls off you and you don't even have to try to lose!! Can you see the bored look on my face?! You're a smarmy cow and I have no interest in listening to you. Yes, I might be bigger than you but you're still an unattractive b!tch!

Love,
Corkiegirl

niftythrifty · by **niftythrifty** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 2:00 pm

corkiegirl wrote:Dear ex-friend,

Stop telling me that the weight just falls off you and you don't even have to try to lose!! Can you see the bored look on my face?! You're a smarmy cow and I have no interest in listening to you. Yes, I might be bigger than you but you're still an unattractive b!tch!

Love,
Corkiegirl

I think everyone has one of these people in their lives!

corkiegirl · by **corkiegirl** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 2:07 pm

ha ha, niftythrifty... 'had' in my case. Can't cope listening to someone like her. Clearly using her own insecurities to stand on my head and try and push me down!

by **Dub M** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 5:37 pm

cirquedesoliel wrote:i'll have a piece of this!

Dear Socalled best friend!
Im delighted that you are Pregnant but seriously stop pretending you are the first woman in the history of mankind to ever be pregnant! stop telling everyone and anyone that getting pregnant was an accident! do you want your child growing up knowing it was a whoopsie daisy! and as for the freak that impregnated you ! YOU ARE NOT THAT special that he can ring the scan unit to look for an earlier scan appointment JUST COZ he is the father!

love you loads
CDS

Dear returned friend from Australia
you are back 3 weeks you do not have jet lag so stop falling asleep over lunch and letting your mind wander off! you're not as sophistcated as you think or let on to be!

trying hard to love you.
CDS

DEAR Cirquedesoliel

you are a fantastic person with the patience of a saint! hang in there! all these stupid people will return to their own planets and peace will be restored!! chin up !

LOVE YOU

Cirquedesoliel

Love this

made me laugh my ass off....hmm i wonder if i can rustle one up myself??How about....

Dear friend-ive-known-for-years-and-am-fond-of-but-sometimes-not-sure-why,

Your announcement of your pregnancy 2 years ago sticks in my mind for many reasons.Primarily because you were practically crowning by the time you told us and as much as I can understand the wait till 12 weeks theory, your 20 weeks of lying every time we met when everyone knew you were pregnant makes me cringe.Furthermore, I recall how you smugly announced "it was so easy, I dont know how anyone doesnt get pregnant first time!" and while I was far from broody at the time, it stuck it my gut how insensitive and arrogant it was. Now that I am ttc for last few months, your words echo in my ears.Especially because your drunken husband recently told a mutual friend that you had a hard time getting pregnant on your first and it took quite a while.....well imagine that, smug and bullshit!

But fear not, I will never pull you up on it because that would be insensitive and the height of meanness!Instead I have kept you at arms length since and will continue to do so.
Smug+bullshit does not a happy person make!

Kind regards,
A more zen DUB M
x

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 8:41 pm

Dear Stalker.

Stop crawling up my hole. You drive me insane. I can't go to the shop without you asking what I went for. It's none of your business. Stop posting your stupid thinly-veiled digs online. You have no right to call me a b!tch when I've done NOTHING wrong. Just because I don't want to be best friends and text you 40,000 times a day doesn't mean I'm a cow. I'm busy. I have a life. You should get one. You don't know how lucky you are, you have a lovely husband, a decent full-time job and a gorgeous house. Quit moaning about how lazy he is. Stop telling me "gossip" about people I get on with - so far everyone I know has apparently badmouthed me to you??!! You tried to worm your way into my close circle of friends and I wouldn't let you in, now you're hacked off. You invited yourself to that party and spent the whole night staring at me because I was enjoying myself with my friends. You didn't know anyone there, so I don't know why you came. You made my skin crawl that night, hovering and watching. I know you're giving out about me because your husband doesn't look me in the eye anymore when I meet him - pity, because it was because he was such a nice lad that I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt too. Just take the hint, GO AWAY and leave me alone.

Sincerely, Candlequeen.

[snip]

Dear MM.

You're not even a blood cousin but I bloody love you. You are always an absolute delight to talk to. You understand me better than most of my own relations. I can't wait for us to take our kids to the zoo together. And I promise not to tell your husband about the sneaky fag you always have when you come to see me. I greatly admire your willpower that you always only have the one. Kettle's on,

Love you, CQ.

Livinginhope · by **Livinginhope** » Fri Apr 13, 2022 11:34 pm

DELETED

by **imabeliever** » Sun Apr 15, 2022 6:38 pm

Dear ILs
Why are ye being like this.... I thought after all this time, that ye held Me, your son/brother, and yer grand kids/niece/nephew in a little higher regard than ye obviously do.... people told me that weddings really do bring out peoples true colours but ye have really shown yerselves up for the kind of people ye are....
To let us down so badly and to hurt us this much, in what is supposed to be the lead up to the best day of our lives is just a reflection on who ye really are....
To think of all the times I stood up for ye and wouldnt let anyone say a word against ye, because I cared.. I really did.... In over a year of planning our wedding... only 2 out of 8 of ye have been even bother to have any contact with us....Ye are so God damned wrapped up in your own petty lives that ye can be bothered to move out of your own way for your son/brother, never mind me!!!!
Cant you see how much he is hurting??? Are ye deaf as well as blind to my (amongst others) pleas???
Really why bother coming to the wedding!!!!Please dont put yerselves out..
Sincerely your one and only daughter in law/sis in law to be

by **MammyMia** » Thu Apr 19, 2022 9:55 pm

Imabeliever,

That's a very sad letter you wrote. Nearly brought a tear to my eye. Hope things get better for your family x.

Snuffy · by **Snuffy** » Fri Apr 20, 2022 5:27 pm

Dear Cancer,

FU€K YOU! Why is is always people who don't deserve it that you attack. Would you ever p!ss off and inflict the people the world would be better off without and leave everyone else alone.

I hate you.

Snuffy.

excitedlady · by **excitedlady** » Fri Apr 20, 2022 10:29 pm

Snuffy wrote:Dear Cancer,

FU€K YOU! Why is is always people who don't deserve it that you attack. Would you ever p!ss off and inflict the people the world would be better off without and leave everyone else alone.

I hate you.

Snuffy.

+1

well said

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