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Going out with h2b for 3 and a half years got engaged last year, built a house in it a year and a half, set a date for the wedding which is next year but since the summer im having doubts about the wedding....then in august i cheated on him ....met this guy a few times since and he knows the score........ told h2b that i wasnt really for commitment and wanted to call off the wedding....i wanted this way before i met this other guy..... the spark was dead in my relationship for months ...i no cheating isnt the right thing to do but there is just something about this guy i couldnt resist.....

now i love h2b but in a friend way and not sexually......the only thing is i dont want to break his heart breaking up with him.......... i wouldnt jump straight into another relationship with this new guy cause thats just being on the rebound... but i think he will wait till im ready.....i can talk to him like no other guy i no...

i no i'll be all alone if i leave h2b...i'll be leaving behind a lovely house which i put a lot of money into and losing his family and friends......would have to move to parents house even though they will probably disowen me...........
help!!
anyone been in this position before??

I think in your heart you know what you should do. There is no point in prolonging the inevitable. Your h2b is going to get hurt either way as he is bound to find out that you cheated on him. As for the house, that is no reason to stay in a relationship that you are unhappy in.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

You can't have your cake and eat it. FInish with you h2b if you have any respect for him. Don't cheat behind his back for fear of breaking his heart, you are already doing it although he doesn't know it yet. Finish with him if you love him as a friend. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. He'll work it out in time. Do the right thing. Good luck.

Why continue to be miserable?

I think you should call it off you love your h2b but you are not in love with him. Meeting this other guy is really wrong in my book and even saying about what you are leaving behind is quite selfish.
You are not thinking about your h2b at all in this,of course both of you will be miserable after the break up but going through that now will be easier than in 5 years time when you are married and even have kids.

For both your sakes call it off-and start to rebuild your lives apart.

If you know the relationship is over, then it's time to move on!!

If you really don't fancy him sexually anymore, IMO, yes it's over!!!

Don't drag out something that is evitable for both yours & H2B's sake!!

Ya poor thing!! I know it's going to be tough leaving him, his family, and friends, but that's just something that goes with your H2B.

Be strong!! Do what's right!! Don't drag it out!!

xx

I think for both your sakes you should call off engagement, if you know in your heart you dont love h2b the way you should you are not doing either of you any favours by dragging things out

I agree with all of the replies above and that you should tell your h2b and don't drag it out any longer. It will only be worse in the long run if you let it go on any longer.

Better to break up now than have the trauma of a divorce (and possibly kids involved) later. It'll be tough, but you can't marry a man you aren't in love with, and if you respect him, you'll call it off.

You need some home truths.

You are unfaithful, you are selfish, you are hurting someone who loves you by pretending you are going to marry him.

Do the right thing and break up with your H2B. He deserves someone who will not cheat on him.

Houses and other things come and go but people deserve to be treated with respect and you are not doing that.

Cya

I think you need to at least take a break form the relationship. Instead of moving home could you stay with a friend for a while??
Try and give yourself space to figure out what you want.
And it will be up to him to decide whether he wants to wait for you or not.


Best of luck, i feel for you because these decisions are always hard

JUst reading this post now. I feel really bad for you. My friend was in a similar situation. She called her wedding off with just 3 months to go. At the time it was a huge heartbreak for everyone involved. She was so upset for months. now 2 years on her ex h2b is engaged to a lovely girl and she is still seeing the guy that she originally cheated with. He is a lovely guy and she is very happy. Somethings are just meant to be. If it is not right definitely get out now when you can. Good luck with whatever you decide.

yes i agree with what you say Forgottenpassword & Clucky....

I moved home last week, parents are extremly upset, my mum hasnt eaten all week and my Dad is upset but hides it....

Im going back and forth at the moment between the house and my parents, H2B has said to try and give things a go till christmas, but i know deep down that i cant because of my cheating....

Getting lots of support from friends, some i have told about the cheating others i havent because i dont want that to be the reason that im leaving him, althought it does come into it....

and yes im meeting this other guy for chats, he is being extremly supportive and not putting me under any pressure....

At the end of the day i dont love H2B anymore, not enough to stay with him long term anyway. and i have felt like that long before i cheated.

Thanks for all your replys im sure i'll sort something out........

Jayus women you are gas I got slaughter by the Majority of the women and I didnt even cheat on my wife.

I got very little support except from Shin , Survivor and a couple of others.

Typical