Is it just me or do people say offensive things before a wed

bridereilly · by **bridereilly** » Sat May 12, 2022 10:03 pm

I got 'how much is your wedding dress?' OH sis
and told that, OH sis has to be bm. FMIL

I'm sure there was lots more if i took the time to think but i tend to take it all with a pinch of salt as I am very decisive on what I want and once OH and I are happy thats all that matters. :xox

fixibelle · by **fixibelle** » Sat May 12, 2022 10:16 pm

I'm actually astonished that people are saying this stuff to you ladies... Bloody hell.

I've only had one comment thus far, from a (skinny, petite) colleague who asked if I was going to be going back to the gym before the wedding (I'm a tall size 16-18)... My response: "Maybe, but I've bought the dress a size too big, just in case! I intend having fun between now and then, not starving myself!"

There wasn't much she could say in response to that!

by **blueeyes25** » Sun May 13, 2022 9:24 am

in fairness i think some of ye are being a bit over sensitive here, some of these questions i have asked future brides (never asked about weight or how much ring was) but the rest of them i have either asked myself or have been asked by people and to be honest i wasnt asking them to be nosey just genuinely interested, and showing enthuasiasm!

hestia · by **hestia** » Sun May 13, 2022 9:37 am

Kinda have to let a lot of it go over your head eh? Most comments are more about nosiness and bad manners than outright offence, and they're all largely predictable. They go with the territory. Best ignore or have a good laugh about it. Develop a thick skin anyway.

We got hitched in a reg office, just the pair of us. We're still trying to convince people who should know better that it was a valid wedding, or rather they're trying to convince themselves..e.g And did you have, like, actual wedding rings? (incredulous)

MrsBig10 · by **MrsBig10** » Sun May 13, 2022 9:39 am

Some people are great but others are rude! They are what they are.
One thing i've learned since planning this wedding is "in one ear, out the other" and "say nothing"

blue2012 · by **blue2012** » Sun May 13, 2022 2:00 pm

I got a few, most weren't meant to be offensive but people just don't think! Things that they would never dream of saying suddenly become ok topics when you are getting married!
H2Bs aunts - "You will be watching your figure now for the wedding. Oh, you are off cake for the wedding, I suppose. You better not put on weight before the wedding now that you have your dress..." I am size 10, always have been, and my dress needs to be taken in! They were just trying to make conversation, and are lovely women but they would never dream of mentioning weight normally!
My mother - "we could invite a priest to the dinner, he could bless you then." (civil ceremony)
Also - "the first thing you should think of when picking a venue is other people, not yourselves." (this is after spending weeks picking a venue that suited both sides of the family and didn't really suit us!)
Friend - when talking about a wedding she was going to - "I am so sick of weddings, they are such a load of crap!" I didn't reply to that one
Another friend - talking about someone I don't know - "Am fed up of listening to people go on about weddings, fe*king bridezillas." This was about 10 minutes after asking me about my plans and me saying no news, nothing to talk about.
I just take them with a pinch of salt, I am sure I have said offensive things to single people, people in couples, pregnant women, mams, etc. When you are not in the situation you just don't think!

mrs2bejuly · by **mrs2bejuly** » Sun May 13, 2022 3:58 pm

I can't believe that people would ask how much the engagement ring is :eek

Hasn't happened to me but if someone would ask, I'd tell them to f*ck off! That's just plain rude.

Also the weight question is pretty rude. I don't care at all because I want to have fun myself and don't really mind if I lose weight or not. No one asked me either, other than MIL said that the both of us should go to the gym :o0

Summerbride12 · by **Summerbride12** » Sun May 13, 2022 8:26 pm

Some people are just sad....get this someone closely related to me told me to 'cop on' to myself when we were discussing the wedding band/food etc, because, she said 'i hate to say this, but the wedding day is never about the bride'!!!

I must admit, i wanted to kill her on the spot, but now it just amuses me!!!!!

lolly2010 · by **lolly2010** » Sun May 13, 2022 8:59 pm

O god some of them questions/remarks are just awful >:o(

Heres some i had..

FMIL- you could do with loosing a few stone for the wedding because you have a nice face!
His aunt-your lucky your granny is dead because she wouldnt be going (because we arent going to church)
Numerous people- so is it a real wedding, are you really married
Aunt again-o your children wont even be able to be baptises (eh one is already!!)
FMIL-doesnt really matter what i wear does it? sure its not like a real wedding?
My mam/Fmil-you cant have black bridesmaids dresses, it will look funerally(do you go to a funeral in a full lenght one shoulder gown???!)
My mam-you cant have lilys, there a sign of death, and with the bridesmaids dresses your just asking for trouble
FMIL-would you not get married abroad so we could all have a holiday
Numerous people-What dya mean your not having kids at the wedding?

If you listened to it all you'd flip, like another poster said "im one ear and out the other"

I just cant get over people thinking the price is their business, everytime i came back and said o i got such and such sorted (his side of family not mine) all i got was how much? eh wtf is it got to do with you, we are paying! Was disgusted when i was asked how my wedding ring costed!O and how much was your dress, veil, transport, hotel etc, some people are unreal :duh:

by **aug2012bride** » Sun May 13, 2022 10:39 pm

its unbelievable how everyone seems to have an opinion on weddings!

some i've gotten..

FMIL "why is the wedding on a friday? is it cheaper?"
FMIL "why do u need to take the week of the wedding off work? what will you have to do?"

its funny coz i get on great with FMIL normally......

oh yeah, when we got engaged my friend grabbed my hand, looked at the ring & said "its not as big as mine".

really think you have to let it go over your head....but it can be hard :innocent:

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Mon May 14, 2022 7:01 am

*deleted*

BusyDee · by **BusyDee** » Mon May 14, 2022 11:39 am

blueeyes25 wrote:in fairness i think some of ye are being a bit over sensitive here, some of these questions i have asked future brides (never asked about weight or how much ring was) but the rest of them i have either asked myself or have been asked by people and to be honest i wasnt asking them to be nosey just genuinely interested, and showing enthuasiasm!

I'd say it's more the way the questions are asked though! Like OP said about neighbour asking where she got the rings, Ive asked all my friends that but we were talking about them at the time, plus they were friends, I wouldn't walk up to my neighbour with no hello or anything and say "where'd ya get the ring"?? I think we all know someone like that :o0

Leanne2112 · by **Leanne2112** » Mon May 14, 2022 12:16 pm

My nana asked, while very sick in hospital, if I would do her one favour and dye my hair brown for the wedding (it's dyed red at the moment and she makes no apology for hating it). A girl at work asked me that too which I found a bit weird.

the farmer wants a wife · by **the farmer wants a wife** » Mon May 14, 2022 3:54 pm

ohh these are absolutely priceless ..some people O:|

totally off the subject but christmas eve just gone i met an old boss who hadnt seen me in over 2 years - i was picking up some bits in the local shop when she shouts out in front of everyone" oh jez youve put all the weight back on" I was a 12 went down to an 8 and back to a 12 after i had my lil man!! the f...n B*tch..i was mortified!!
i just turned around to her and said " all the more of me to love"...wagon!!!

bosshogg · by **bosshogg** » Mon May 14, 2022 4:11 pm

Okay so I see I'm not the only one! Thanks for getting on board fellow wollies!
:wv

Some days it's easier to handle these ahem... 'enquiries' and others it just makes me want to hibernate until the wedding or else elope!

I think in Ireland especially we're very preoccupied with weddings and perhaps there's more interest from people then. I've aunts who get months out of analysing weddings they've been at!

I just hope I can relax and not give a hoot about some of these 'enquirers' on our wedding day. I know there will be aspects that they won't like on the day.

Who is online